Moments of Remembering

We all do it. We forget who we are. We disconnect from all that is, and things stop flowing. We stop believing. We sabotage our growth. We wade in the abyss.

Then, we remember. Life nudges through people, places, symbols, coincidences, and stuff you simply cannot ignore.

Life expands. We're given an opportunity to grow again, and to evolve past where we stumbled before.

We remember, and then we get about the business of reminding others. And, the circle continues. Contracts honored. Vibrations raised. Together.

No one does it alone. Remember that. I love you.

The Transcendence - Dancing With Denial

I started this blog in April of 2016, and came back to it again in August of 2016.  Today, Easter Sunday, 2017, the day in which I was raised to celebrate as "Resurrection Sunday," seemed as good as any day to resurrect this blog.  While I've been posting KB worthy thoughts and exchanges on my Instagram when they come, as well as carrying forth a couple of posts in the "Inspired Thoughts" album at Knowing's Facebook fan page, I've intentionally been avoiding this specific blog in process, and writing here in general.  It's literally taken me almost an entire year of processing, sifting and sorting to get here.  Not because of the pain of writing it, but because of the connection I have to the person whom inspired its reflections to begin with.  That "knowing" that the person I'm connected to, who was then thousands of miles away pursuing their dreams, was cycling through their own dances with denial and transcendence.  

It's taken this long to allow myself to own these words, unfiltered, and from the heart.  

You see, I grew up surrounded by friends (and lovers) who struggle with addiction.  Notice that's not a past tense statement.  That's because, the struggle never ends; it's a day to day, sometimes moment to moment dance between what one knows to do, versus what one's compelled to do.  I've also had to say goodbye to those who've gone home to the other side, due to the addiction itself, or the lingering effects of damage to the body due to having it.  I think we all have, we all know someone who has been touched by it at that level of loss.

For over 27 years I've been in AA, NA and OA meetings, countless churches, meeting halls in random places, with coffee flowing and smoke hanging from the ceilings.  I've been in the psych wards of hospitals, holding friend's hands, speaking the good word, focusing on the wins and what's beautiful about that suffering soul before me, crumbled and broken, and wanting to die.  

Those 12 step meetings, they were to support those same friends and loved ones.  I've been to Al-Anon too, and I read the Big Book to be in the know, to understand the process that is being sought of them.  To learn how not to be.  To learn healthy boundaries.  As a result of this wide open compassion and acceptance of those who are managing recovery, in adulthood, I'm surrounded by some of the most beautiful people.  People who just so happen to also be managing their addictions, transcending daily their old ways and hurts, and scheduling time to create peace in their lives.

Moms, daughters, fathers, sons, best friends, small business owners, people from every walk of life; no one is immune to it.  Addiction doesn't carefully select whom it's going to intrude upon.  Addiction has no selection process at all.  It just is what it is.  A crap shoot of luck, sometimes propelled by circumstance, genes or psychological make-up.  It certainly isn't something that someone wakes up to, wishing upon themselves one day either.  It's a disease, it's not a choice, and although it drives a lot of undesirable behaviors in people we care for, it's not the "real" person behind the wheel of their life.  

In all my years of loving people for who they really are, I've learned that we don't walk away from that which doesn't serve us, until we're damn ready to do so.  No matter what other people say, no matter how much we dance in denial, we do not budge in a permanent new direction until we've come to peace with the cards we're dealt.  Once we focus on what we have, what we want, and what we are grateful for, life shifts.  Denial isn't just something you flip a switch on, or have a come to Jesus meeting about.  It's a choice.  One so deeply rooted that we often don't even know it's there sometimes.  Thus, the word, DENIAL.  Bottom line, people change when they're ready to change.  No amount of ultimatums, loss, or bitching at them is going to accelerate that.  It won't stay and stick at least.  We have to want the change in order to be able to embrace it.  

So, here we are, being love, and allowing people around us to be who they are, without our judgment.  Just as Jesus would of done.  So we're told at least, and what I adhere to about that story.  That's how we're supposed to be.  We all have crosses to carry on this journey.  Mastering ourselves will always be our greatest call, and our most important challenge.  

I hope that when you're faced with creating healthy boundaries and unconditional love, that you'll remember that beneath the pain before you, is a person.  I hope you'll always remember that within that person is someone who would give anything to shut the pain off, and feel whole, in control, and at peace again.  Try not to shame or hurt those who are hurting.  Remember, people only can do as well as they are in that moment.  There are so many hurt people out there.

Above all, never give up hope.  They might just surprise you.  I've been blessed to watch a few transformations come to pass over the decades.  Even those in the deepest and darkest depths of depression, anxiety, and other types of mental illness have transformed their lives, choosing not to use their addiction as their coping mechanism with the same. I know that what we intend upon, put laser focus towards, and take action upon in our daily calendars, comes to pass.  If it can happen to those I know, it can happen to you.  Let those who have made strides inspire you to find your own.  No two recovery stories are ever the same, and no two people find their way to recovery on the same journey.  But, together, we can all get there.

Just let love lead.  It will see you through.  I'm trusting right along with you.  Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2016 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Truth & Consequences - Part 4 - The Next Chapter

Lessons are repeated until they're learned. 

I don't like to give up hope on people, especially when they're young and inexperienced in the world.  I'd like to think I turned out okay because somewhere along the way, a few people didn't give up on me.  For this reason, my heart has always been open.

Winter would bring another change my way.  That kid I raised as my own, she'd come back into my life because of that stroke.  A new chapter would begin.  One where she's now become a mom, learning along the way what sacrifice really is and how resilient she is to do hard things.  I'm proud of the woman she's working to become and hopeful she'll find her way.  I did, so I can only hope she will as well.  Life has a way of figuring itself out.  This path of hers is no different. 

Children have a way of grounding us to this world.  They're an anchor in life's storms. As we navigate what's ahead, I wish that each of you out there missing a loved one, get the chance that Jennifer and I have had this past winter.  Don't let a health scare be the catalyst that allows you to let go and walk back into someone else's life.  Decide today to do it anyway.  Life will be better for it.  I promise.  Risk comes from reward.  Remember that.  I love you.



Copyright ©2016 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Connecting the Dots 2.0 - The Teachers & The Students

As Spring has began to turn around the mountains, it's a reminder of the Season's renewal.  A reminder of how we must remain steadfast and hopeful for warmer, brighter days ahead.  Especially when we endure the winters of our lives.

Some friends, as well as myself, have been navigating some circumstances in life that for many, could overturn even the most upright ship.  I have nothing but love and gratitude to those who grace my life with their own struggles, who bare their souls wide open, free from the fear of judgment, to connect and share that which pains them.  I think when we share with each other, we allow each other in. Within that mix of coming and going, we learn how to help one another.  That "tribe" way of living can make even the most painful of experiences peaceful one day.

I've been teaching a lot lately about "the dots"....those moments in life that change our course.  The ones that connect later and we see the picture before us of our lives.  The cause and effects of the journey.  Within the work of teaching, I'm reminded of the lessons in my own dots. 

There's nothing more liberating than being distant from those moments that you once thought defined you.  We get to a place where we just learn to be ourselves.  We make no apologies for being human, flawed, emotional and loving.  We don't care if people don't get us because those who do get us, they're worth our time and attention. We become that which we decide to become. We all have free will here.  Why not pick peace in the pain?

So, here we all are.  Enjoying what we can hold onto that's positive of life.  We're fortunate to even have an opportunity to connect those dots.  Far too many people don't get along far enough in life to do so and even more than that walk around immune to the cause and effect tapestry before them.

To each their own. In my big picture they're not present anyway.  :)

As you go about Spring and renewal, remember your own dots and find gratitude for those moments that were once heartbreakingly disappointing.  Without them, seeds wouldn't of been planted for the come back and transcendence of those obstacles.  All pain has opportunity.  We just need to be willing to be open to it.  Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2016 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Into The Great Wide Open

2016 started in grand memorable fashion, greeting myself, my mom, my son and a friend with one heck of an illness that I picked up during my own December hospitalization.  One that would linger for weeks and place my mom in the hospital for couple of them, including a scary week in ICU.  We're all gratefully on the mend now and digging out from multiple feet of snow thanks to Winter Storm Jonas.

There's something to a big winter storm.  It makes you focus.  You have to be prepared and have a good attitude about it or you'll be miserable during the entire thing.  And guess what, it's not going to change because of your mood so you might as well embrace it.  Being stuck at home for 8 days solo was an interesting test of spirit as well.  Thank goodness for power and all its creature comforts i.e. phone calls with the outside world, texts, the internet.  Being forced to be still however still makes one think. A lot.  Reading is normal around here but there was much more of that happening too.

I know I've written here recently about pushing myself outside of my comfort zones.  Heck, I just let hair dye touch my head after 16 years.  Those who know me well figured hell would be frozen over for that one to happen.  True story.  Look.  My regular hair dresser doesn't do color and laying in that hospital post stroke, I wanted a change and to do stuff I'd thought about but not pulled the trigger on yet in life.  My friend Teresa from high school did a fantastic job giving me something natural and low maintenance.  I couldn't be happier.  Anyone in Northern Virginia can find her at her salon TJ's Hair Studio.  Special thanks to my friend Deri for that awesome hair makeover gift too!  She's only bugged me to do it since we reconnected on Facebook years ago.

Before & After w/ Flash at TJ's Hair Studio - My Pics

After image no flash.  Work and picture by Teresa at TJ's Hair Studio in Alexandria, VA.

While I've made peace with last summer and the lessons it brought, I'll be honest and say I'm also realizing I'm in a transitional place personal life.  There's something about facing your own bumps in the road such as my recent hospitalization and then virus picked up there after when I got home that ravaged my family that makes you look back.  You can't help it being forced to be still.  The mind likes to go where it wants and it's our discernment that determines how amuck it runs.

I can remember thinking how nice it would of been to not facing those obstacles without him, to have that comfort and love.  Him being the one who couldn't even make a phone call when I was sitting in another hospital with my own father one Saturday evening in August.  The one who no longer gets to run his fingers through that hair or receive the "before and after" hair cut day photos by text while at work.  Knowing what I learned in hindsight, I feel as if the Universe was preparing me for the next experiences down the road.  That's what I'm at peace with, the process.  I can see now where that pain of "not having" though in those recent struggles in turn opened me up to one day wanting someone special around again.  Before them, I was content just going without and with human nature, that's not exactly normal.  We're built to be together.

Knowing this, I've been pruning back certain areas in order to make room for new growth.  I have this idea in my head that I need to get the parents situations behind me and my Lipedema (google it, it sucks, but it doesn't define me - well, I'm learning it doesn't) treated before moving forward to allow myself to be open again.  Therein is the problem, I'm playing the "when this happens, then this will be" game and that's just silly.  Life happens.  Pulls happen.  There's never a better time than the present moment.

I'm not stupid though.  I know if I need to have some things in order to not have them cloud the now, that I should wait and do said things before endeavoring to go there.  In the six years since I left Jennifer's father, I've spent more of it alone than with another person.  And that's okay because I knew what needed to happen in my own life to not carry forth the past onto the present.

Lets just say it's safe to say I'm darn careful about who meets my son too.  Two got to that point and I'm bummed in a way it even happened because Tristan then has to learn to navigate loss and more change in his life.  Aspergers and typically the autistic in general don't like change. Hard to believe he's 20 months away from being an adult but yeah, if I can spare him another heartache, I'll continue to keep my personal life and him separated until such time as I know it's worth bringing him into the fold.

Part of doing things undone is staying open.  As such, I've decided to stay open while giving myself 2016 to tidy up where things are in life, especially with a high school graduation on the horizon in 2018, ailing parents and my own calendar keeping me grounded and on the go.  It's not that I can't or I won't, it's just that I'm not procuring. I'm living day in and day out enjoying my surroundings, my people and the memories we're making.  What's rather interesting is that I recently learned that I have a few in my circle who for their own reasons, are basically doing the same thing.  How do you like those apples?  Birds of a feather flock together. Into the great wide open we go.  Wherever the destination, it shall be worth it.  Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2016 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

    

The Letting Go - Exchanging Bitterness for Gratitude & Peace

A couple of weeks ago I finally finished an interview I'd been watching on YouTube with Alanis Morissette. She was talking to Oprah in a Super Soul Sunday segment.  I've gone without cable or a dish service for over five years now and in all honesty, besides a once in awhile sports event, I only miss Master Class and some of Oprah's segments interviewing people who have beneficial knowledge to share.  

I grew up listening to Alanis.  I wasn't watching because of her music though, I was watching because I felt a "nudge" to do so in that she's been to India and I'm drawn there as well for reasons I can't quite articulate.  I was deeply moved by the exchange of words between Oprah and Alanis during the interview.  So many things Alanis said reminded me of my connection to Thomas, the people I met because of him, and to my conversations with Dave.  When she said that she loves most the "connecting" that she does with others, as was being done in that conversation, it reminded me of how ecstatic I get over the same.  And how much I miss the little group that Thomas brought into my house each Tuesday night wherein we would connect, learn and share.  I've been pulled to start something of that nature again, but more of a teleconference thing versus an in home thing because frankly, those who I wish to be a part of it aren't all close enough to drive on over.  I think going into the new year that I just need to quit thinking about it and just do it.  It's time and I do believe I'm ready to embrace that idea.

Which brings me to another item that I need to quit thinking about and just do. I'm still struggling with embracing what is versus what was.  Bitterness had settled into my heart and that's not healthy for any of us.  I've been thinking A LOT about that as well here lately.  Thinking about my steps in moving forward and how I'd been stuck not "unfriending" the person who is broken and whom disappointed not only myself, but my entire family. How there's this part of me that's not right to think, "go ahead and follow and watch me through the fishbowl have a wonderful and joyous life without your presence in it....suffer knowing what you ruined didn't ruin me."  It's just not right.  

Who I am though is the person who sees people beyond their brokenness. I see people at their highest selves and I believe in them, even when they do things that really aren't for me to explain or understand.  I think this is why I come back together with friends who have hurt me who are broken too.  Because I try my best to live with God in my heart to forgive people and to move forward, even if the friendship isn't as it was before.  That's what unconditional love is after all, to see someone in all their ugly places and to love them anyway.  However, that doesn't mean we lower our standards or subject ourselves to people who can't even give a courtesy text or call when you're sitting in the emergency room with your dad or who are emotionally abusive as my ex-husband was.  Nope, that stuff we let go, and we love from afar without the person in our day-to-day art of living.

Then, just two days ago, before drafting this initial blog (for whatever reason the original disappeared after posting) as the Universe so loving likes to do, a sweet friend messaged me digging deeper into trying to understand that word and why I was using it to describe why I wasn't dating again yet or even really allowing myself to be open towards the same. She said, "Why are you holding on to the bitterness though? I'm not judging, I'm not saying you're wrong, each in our own time. But, you seem to me that you would take that emotion and set it free upon the wind, releasing yourself from its grasp. Is it just too soon? Is it because of the nature of the situation?" We talked about it for a while.  She was so worried she'd overstepped boundaries but I assured her she'd not, that her questions and later a story about her own life, were a welcome conversation out loud bringing forth "work" that needed to be done by myself to trust my own advice, downloads, nudges and to BE THANKFUL for where it brings me today.  Thankful versus bitter.

Sometimes people aren't who they say they are.  That's okay.  It's not about YOU or ME, it's about THEM.  I often tell my closest friends that we should never let someone change who we are in a negative way.  Relationships are about love and its various stages.  They're about getting to the point with someone out there who creates a wellness in you, a healing of sorts.  Someone who, because they're in your life, you want to and do become a better person.  

This person who hurt me and disappointed me, they gave me a beautiful gift in the end.  They reminded me of what it was like, if only for a short while, of what I wanted.  And in the end, what I didn't want.  I learned something and they prepared me for the next "pull" that comes along.  No matter how much my expectations were shattered, and how much my family was hurt in the process, I have to trust and have faith that all is as it should be.  I have to follow my own advice and not change who I am because of what transpired.  I have to choose not to be bitter and to be open.  So today, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Thank you to my sweet friend who allowed the Universe to use her in that way.  Thank you to the guy, who I know is reading this, for reminding me of what I was worthy of and giving me that for a brief moment in time before your true nature was seen.  And thank you to my tribe, old and new, who keep me on my toes and who serve as a mirror at times to help me evolve.  We're all in this together.  Remember that.  I love you.

“It is the nature of the world of form that nothing stays fixed for very long - and so it starts to fall apart again. Forms dissolve; new forms arise. Watch the clouds. They will teach you about the world of form.”- Eckhart Tolle

Copyright ©2015 Nita Clewis All rights reserved. For personal use only. Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed. Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Taking Inventory - Masterful Choices

November 7, 2015

Time, it really doesn't stop when we do.  I find myself mere hours away from another date that's bittersweet, reflecting on what was and hanging on for life to the here and now.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about those who've gone home.  This time of year however is different now.  I find myself for about six weeks or so struggling to stay in a place of acceptance.  Of making sense of it all.  Of holding onto what was right for the 3 years I was honored to know Thomas Grant IV, versus getting angry or bitter over what was taken away from us all.

The last month, my favorite time of year, and in all honesty, my favorite month, has been more than interesting for 2015.  Given the battle within, October brought with it a whirlwind reprieve of discoveries and aha moments.  So much so that I had to start keeping track just to make sure I was in fact, not losing my mind over what I was experiencing.  Anyone who knows me and interacts with me can tell you that I find joy in the whimsy of life that makes one wonder.  To repetitively have information and evidence of the things unseen is enough to make anyone's head spin.  It's not like I'm special either.  My understanding and experiences have been that we can all do it.  We can all tune in and connect.  Seriously, I'm not special when it comes to these things (repetitive, absolutely!).  We can all sit here in stupefied awe at the wonders of it all.

As I navigate the last of this year, instead of being sad or letting winter bring its blues, I'm staying mindful in focusing on the gratitude.  Focusing on those things which I've learned, that which has brought positive growth, and memories of what lies ahead.  Being grateful for the pulls in life too has helped.  I tell you what, when you take inventory of them, of the pulls and the wins, and list to digest what each and every pull has brought you forward in your journey, you step back in utter awe of it all.  You get under your skin this invisible cloak of trust.  A way of operating in the world wherein you listen to what guides you from within.  You become fearless and when you do fall, you don't stay down for long before you decide to get back up again.

Is it easy to be this way?  Heck no.  It takes a whole lot of mindfulness and endless practice.  It's truly a moment by moment thing sometimes.  We experience.  We react.  We reflect.  We plan.  Then we go at it all over again.

Is it worth it?  You bet your sweet ass it is.  Is sure beats the flip side of being down in the muck with the darkness, slave to our circumstances.  I don't wish that darkness upon anyone, not even my least favorite people.  Doubt, fear and feeling pitiful are part of the human condition.  However, they're not the destination.  They're simply hurdles to jump as we progress on down the road.  I've long been told and believe that we're our greatest victor as well as our most annoying opponent in life.  Kudos to my extended family and friends for keeping me mindful of the true battle in life, the battle of the mind.   Without a doubt, it's the greatest thing we'll ever learn to master.

Remember that.
I love you.

Copyright ©2015 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.  

The Mirror: Relationships 101 - A Litmus Test

As a survivor of narcissistic, psychopathic and sociopathic abuse, I learned A LOT by screwing up my own life to be able to pound these keys to share the following.  Adding to that decade of wrong choices is two decades of working with clients going through divorces and planning their estates.  Lets just say that I have a very directed point of view about what does and doesn't work in relationships.  

I'm back to this area of life sharing because I have a few friends struggling to stay afloat in the rapids of significant other love.  One is trying to leave a narcissist and sociopath whom they share a child with.  Another is repeating low self worth behaviors with a new abuser.  One has a lazy partner who doesn't know how to covet what he wants and projects his own insecurities upon her.  And another is so desperate to be loved, honored and cherished that they've been blinded by what is versus what they want and actually deserve.  I mean damn, was I just not writing in my last blog about my own journey in remembering and letting go of someone who wasn't there for my greater good?  That's how this life is though.  It brings to the forefront people I love seeking comfort, guidance and advice of things that mirror mine or another's evolution of self.  I get to receive downloads and inspired thoughts for them, who are in effect being used as a tool to teach another person I love, sometimes even myself.

As you embark upon the last two months of this year, I really want you to connect with what's coming through right now for each of you below.  To listen and receive what's pulling on you in your life that deserves your attention.  That way, when we greet 2016, you will have set yourself up for your best year of sorting yet in Life Department Love.  Sit down.  Light some Nag.  Walk on the shore. Absorb what I'm about to say.  Then act damn it.  ACT.  You are far too precious in this world to not know these things and those with children, they are watching and learning what we do.

Ladies and gentlemen, if the person in your life doesn't bring you peace, understanding and grace, they're not there in your life to fix those things in them.  They're there in your life to remind you of what you don't want.  Of what you don't deserve.  Of what you're working towards.  Those of you who know me understand that although I'm not a religious person, that I do love God and take away from the Bible many of its Universal teachings.  One that I've learned to apply in my own life is from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  The one that says...

What I basically do now with everyone allowed personal time with me is to hold them to this standard.  Friends, coworkers, family and lovers; no one is immune from it.  I just replace their name with the word Love and see if the person measures up to be worthy of my efforts, time and attention.  So, ask yourself these hard questions and be open to prune away those not serving your greatest good.  Some will need to be gone for good.  Others you'll need to learn how to put healthy boundaries in place for.  After all, we can't pick new fruit if our hands are full of that which is rotten.

1.  Is he/she patient?

We're not talking the typical Nita wants what she wants, when she wants it, today is for the living, where was I again when patience was given away as a virtue?  We're talking about you and your evolution of self.  Do the people in your life allow for your own personal growth?  Do they stay the course?  Do they know how to wait on God to do his work through you and in you?

2.  Is he/she kind?

Hello! Stop sign!  This is not about when someone wants something from you.  Is the person kind?  To animals.  To others.  To that pain in the ass who just cut them off in traffic when they've already had a crazy stressful day.  How does this person handle stress and the day-to-day art of living?  Are they mean or do they strive to lead with love and be kind?

3.  Is he/she jealous?

We're not talking territorial here.  We're talking flat out lack of self esteem and self worth envy. The not believing or knowing one's worth.  The being driven by fear of loss to not trust with every fiber of your being that this person in your life is there for a reason, and even if that reason doesn't last, their lessons left upon your life will IF YOU ALLOW THEM TO.

4.  Does he/she boast?

Boasting is ego rooted.  It comes from a lack of connection to source.  Of not understanding the laws of intention, attraction and action.  Boasting comes from a lack of sense of self.  Humble people know they have God given talents and can be amusing in their assertions, but when it comes down to it, they won't take credit for what flows through them to help another.  They sow seeds of good deeds not for praise, but for what they're doing.  Simply to be a light.  To do good in the world for another.

5.  Is he/she proud?

This is not about "I met my sales goals last month.  Whoo hoo!" or "Hello my friend, do I not have the best ever magic hands?" or "Mom, I'm on the honor roll again (hint hint, where's my money)."  This is about people who have a lack of self esteem and self worth who build themselves upon being prideful.  They don't get that just being themselves IS ENOUGH.  That being patient, kind and loving is enough.  Again, boasting is rooted in a lack of self worth.  It's a caution sign of sorts in dealing with other people and operates much like jealousy and pride.  All of these things are rooted in fear and lack.

6.  Does he/she easily anger?

While some moodiness is chemical in nature, most is attitude and a lack of regard for others.  A lack of golden rule living in the heat of the moment kind of thing.  Note the word EASILY above.  Is he/she thick skinned?  Can they navigate the world in such a way that little things aren't big things? Anger is a symptom of other issues.  It's a trigger for change needed and a reflection of fear.  Anger is often about control.  Those who anger easily have much personal evolution to work on and remember, it's NOT YOUR ROLE to fix them.  That's between them and God.

7.  Does he/she keep a record of your wrongs?

Oh yes, the laundry list.  You know, that list that comes out each and every time a new issue comes up that needs discussion and growth in.  The record of every mistake you ever made or personality flaw you've ever had with the other person.  Score keeping is rooted in control.  It's a way for a person to feel at home in a victim role.  It's how those with a lack of sense of worth and self navigate their broken world. The opposite is letting go of wrongs, of knowing we're all human and here to fail and make mistakes.  We're not a definition of those mistakes, we're a definition of who we allow ourselves to become in light of them.

8.  Does he/she delight in suffering?

Wallow in negative things?  Hurt other people?  All of which could be considered evil.  My mom has a great saying, "Some people have a need to suffer."  That's their path.  Not mine.  Not yours.  Not your employees.  They just don't know how to survive without creating chaos.  Their entire identity is about the struggle or their victimhood.

9.  Does he/she rejoice when truth is spoken?

When the Universal Knowledge of life flows?  When one graciously with love corrects or points out an unsavory behavior?  Or does the person fight you tooth and nail, dancing with denial, projecting their own issues upon you?  None of us like to be corrected.  None of us like to learn that we're hurting another person.  Denial is a defensive mechanism of learning truth.  Trust me, and look me in the eye when I say this, YOU WILL REPEAT YOUR MISTAKES UNTIL YOU LEARN THE LESSONS IN THEM.  So will others.  This is when we REALLY have to work on our egos to lead with love. To humbly accept another's opinion of where we're going ary and to ask God and our guides for guidance in showing us the truth behind them, including where we can improve as people.

10.  Does he/she protect you?

When you're not on your A game, do they help to guide you?  Does the person remind you of your hurts so that you don't repeat them?  Do they help you pivot your thoughts to those that are empowering versus damaging to your being?  Do they protect you?  From the world, but mostly from yourself?

11.  Does he/she have unwavering trust in you?

Life is too finite to live it with people who don't trust and believe in you.  We have an obligation to be honest and unfiltered first.  We must own who we are, flaws and all, before we can trust in another.  We must see the beauty in imperfection within ourselves before we can trust it in another.  Once we get this lesson, it's so much easier to sort the people in our lives who trust in us.

12.  Does he/she always have a hopeful attitude?

Are they a positive in your life?  Do they help you to pivot your thoughts away from what some term "evil" which is basically any negative thought that defeats all your glory?  This is where trusting themselves comes in.  If one can trust, it's much easier to be hopeful.  Hope of better days is what gets us going in the darkness of life.  Dark doesn't like light in biblical terms.  Things can't grow in the darkness until they've adapted to do so for millions if not billions of years of evolution.  We're homosapians, not miracle workers.  We grow and thrive in the light.  Hope is light.

13.  Does he/she work to preserve you?

Again, are the people in your life looking out for your greater good?  Do they actually do the work and say the words that preserve what's right and good about you?  Your work ethic.  Your being.  Your example to the world.  Are they for you or are they against you?  Don't settle for anything less than someone who can see right through you and still believe in your highest good.  Someone who treasures what you bring to the table of their life.  Someone who inspires you to save yourself because again, we cannot fix each other.  We just simply get to be part of their toolbox and blueprint going forward.  Know the difference.  God/The Universe help people to fix themselves.  Not us.  Yes, I'm being repetitive.  That's how we learn.  Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2015 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.    

The Becoming - 40 Years In The Making

The last couple of months I've been wading into the new normal.  See, when you put forth a positive intention for your life, the Universe meets you where you are and prunes away EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that's not in alignment with that intent.  To some people it's as if you shook a soda bottle up and cracked it open.  Pressure builds and then explodes all over the place, in whatever direction has the least resistance.  Then, there are those who get stuck on the letting go of that which is being pruned away.  Believe me, stuck equals sucks.  No way to sugar coat it, it's a waste of time and energy.  Being focused on what was or who someone once portrayed themselves to be in order to use or manipulate you is a joke.  It won't change what is in the here and now.  It's not going to all of a sudden make them a better person.  It's about self preservation, about letting go of people who just aren't capable of being in alignment with where you're going in life.  

It really IS okay.  I often remind friends that we can't pick good fruit if we're weighted down with bad fruit.  Just no room or energy to procure the new.  Such is life.  In work.  In play.  In love.  In friendships.  No one is in your life experience living it except for you.  This is your play, your orchestration. You get to decide how it's all going to roll itself out.  Even when things, people and circumstances challenge you, we still get to decide how we greet them.  Do we focus and carry on or do we stop and turn back?  Only one direction gets you closer to your best self and your highest self.  

Now, does that mean we won't take the same damn road a few times on this journey?  Ohhhh, hell no.  Some of us are far more stubborn about life. We like to make sure we're doing the wrong thing multiple times before we learn it. No, I'm not joking.  I'm being serious.  Even so, it's all part of the path.  Eventually we crack and we relent and we find a better way.  Then, it's not about how long it took, but who we became in the process.

In January I entered into my 40th year here.  Growing up, I had so many ideas about where I thought I'd be and who I'd be come this milestone.  Some happend, most didn't.  What did happen though is that I realized that I'm right on time and that if I trust and listen a little bit longer, that all the pieces of the puzzle will continue to unite together into one kick ass magnificent work of art that IS MY LIFE.  MY LIFE.  In all of it's hard times, crazy times, fun times, sad times, and peaceful times.  

It's long been said that regret is more painful than just about any other part of life, less grief and loss.  I have a few, most of all that dark day of giving up and going against every fiber of my being 13 years ago.  Here's the thing though, I work each day to be at peace with what is.  None of us can change the past.  Now, more than ever, at 40, I get it.  I understand that I wouldn't be who I am today had I not lost myself along the way.

Know this, nothing is stagnate unless you allow it to be.  One call, one choice, one reach can change your entire path's momentum.  Listen to yourself and trust what you're learning.  The answers are all right there, just waiting for you to pay attention to them.  Remember that, I love you.

Copyright ©2015 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed. 

Time, Acceptance & The Resistance Within

It's been said that time heals all wounds.  Really?  Time?  That illusion we create in this three dimensional living?  That idea that we cling to, organizing our moments in form?  No, really, time? Yes, time they say.  Well, I call bullshit.  Yes, yes I do.  

You know what really heals wounds?  Acceptance.  I'm not talking about "oh, it's okay that so and so did this" or "oh, it's not a big deal that I did whatever to whomever."  That's not what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the kind of acceptance that's so deep rooted in one's psyche that it's really a form of peace.  A way of living.  A decision to allow that which has happened (or hasn't happened) a way to just be.  A way of separating our self worth from the experiences that grow us and a way of knowing.  

When we accept what is in our lives, we tend not to stay stranded in resistance.  We are then open to the process of healing.  When we accept that our circumstances and the people in our lives are there as teachers and mirrors, all that we endure changes its influence upon us.  When we understand that life is a series of experiences and lessons, we tend to be more forgiving of the process and in turn, of ourselves.  

Acceptance doesn't mean that we get to play victim.  It means that we're in tune with what's going on.  It's a way of allowing.  A way of opening ourselves up to what's next.  Not accepting is nothing more than a game of endless ping pong.  A back and forth in the struggle.  A game we play to torment ourselves.  Seriously, stop that behavior.  Be still.  Listen to what's going on inside of yourself.  Pay attention to where your mind races off to.  Does it feel good?  Probably not.  Whala, your first sign post along the way is that icky feeling.  Pay close attention to it.  Wake up.  

Now you have the power to change it.  Whatever is holding you in bondage, whatever "could of, should of, and would ofs" you're navigating, allow yourself this day to set it aside.  Just ask yourself, is this true?  Does this define me?  What do thinking these thoughts create in my life?  Am I working towards peace or am I working towards self torment?  

I'll be the first to tell you that we are indeed our own worst enemies.  I am also here to tell you that we are in kind our own best saviors.  Now, before everyone who has an alignment with a certain belief system gets their knickers in a bunch, I'm not slighting or condemning your belief system.  I'm just reminding all whose eyes meet this page that the answers are inside of you.  The peace you want, the transcendence you desire, it's all right there, locked below the struggle.  All you have to do is accept.

Remember, acceptance isn't about allowing pain and suffering into your life.  It's simply about letting go.  You're the one pulling the puppet strings of your own life and I think now is a good time as any to rewrite your play.  I believe in you.  Trust in the process.  It's all for your greater good.  Remember this, I love you.

Copyright ©2015 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed. 

   

Owning One's Truth - The Way

Abusive personalities, it's not a subject I've touched on much here before.  At the moment however I'm feeling compelled to share some things at the urging of spirit. Thoughts inspired from conversations with friends and family that happened during the summer of 2013.

First, a little background though.

I was raised by a controlling personality, one whom I would say is abusive at times.  I watched the father I love mentally and physically abuse my mother.  She found the wisdom and courage to leave him when I was ten years old.  To this day, as many wonderful and positive things there are to be said about my father, he still wishes to control every inch of my 39 years here of living.  It's just who he is and he doesn't want to change.  With my own age and experience has come wisdom. Wisdom to see him for who he is and understanding to know that those insecurities aren't a reflection of me or any of the people in his life whom he tries to control.

I've learned so much from observing and being around controlling and abusive people in general.  I spent a few decades loving a controlling personality and at one point marrying him and saving his daughter from the depths of her mother's hell.  I settled and subjugated in this relationship.  I tried so hard to be a light in a dark world that I lost some of my own luster.  I sacrificed the unsacrificeable.  I learned what not to be and do.  In the end though I woke up.  I remembered who I was before the darkness of his world.  I left and I am better for all of it, for now knowing what I did not know then.  I learned that I don't have to repeat the past to heal it, that I can create a new direction and make different choices.

So, now that you understand my background on the subject, here is what I wanted to share.

Don't Use Each Other

I've learned that people do not have to be in relationships to "use each other."  My father tries to say otherwise, that everyone uses everyone.  No one should ever be in a relationship based on need.  Each of us should learn how to be self sufficient.  Is it easy to keep up with an acre property and modest home by myself on an income that isn't what is used to be prior to the recession and layoffs?  No.  Are those reasons to date someone, look to be in a relationship, or move someone in?  Hell no.

When I worked in domestic relations law, I saw it all too often, people married and getting divorced because everything they built the relationship on was need versus want.  They needed a roof over their head.  They needed a baby mommy or daddy.  They needed to feel secure in themselves.  They needed a checkbook to live off of.  Each couple that came together out of need didn't last because eventually one person or the other realized that the need wasn't going to be filled by the other half, that the need actually required self care and fulfillment.  Don't get me wrong though, most of them left pointing fingers at each other verses looking within to realize the problem was inside all along, that they came into the relationship based on need versus want to begin with exited based on need as well.

Don't Get Jealous

I've learned that jealousy is fruitless and that those who accuse others of misconduct are often the ones misconducting their behaviors.  When you're with someone, you either trust them or you don't.  If you can't trust them, you have zero business sharing a life with them.  Don't even think about trying to cohabitate in a home where you raise children together.  Your children after all are learning everything you're doing and not just saying.  Mommy and daddy can't really love each other in a healthy way if they're reading each other's emails and text messages behind each others backs now can they?  What does that teach your kids? It teaches them that it's okay to settle and to be with someone you don't trust.  It teaches them anxiety and how to manage bad choices too.

Start With Truth

I've learned that respect starts with truth.  If you can't share a space with someone or have a friendship that's rooted in truth, what's the point?  Does one have to be a mean or brutal with the truth?  No, you can be truthful and tactful.  You can be truthful and loving.  That's what true love is anyway, the ability to be one's self 100% honestly and openly and be appreciated and respected.

Be Respected

I've learned that anyone who would ever try and separate you from those who love you and from whom you love is simply trying to dominate a larger presence in your life.  That's not healthy either and it's simply another form of control.  Often controlling abusive personalities try to manipulate you into believing their way, urge you to question your own and do things rooted in a lack of security versus an abundance of belief.  The sooner you see those manipulations for what they are, the sooner life can get better and you can be free.

Choose You

Most of all, I've learned that in the end we make the choices.  We decide when enough is enough and we are the ones who must make the effort to turn the page.  Life is too damn short, precious and fleeting to waste time on things that aren't serving our higher good.  Cut the cord.  Live.  You may just find that all the hell was worth it in the end because it makes the here and now of making healthy choices that much sweeter.

In closing, to every woman and man I've ever loved who has had the courage to make healthy choices, I commend you.  It isn't always easy but you are proof that it can be done.  Namaste.

Copyright ©2014 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed. 

The Next Chapter - I've Lost My Yoda

Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it. 

— Eckhart Tolle

I spent earlier this week doing exactly as my teacher would of wanted me to do, listening. Since my best friend and kindred soul Thomas passed, I've been rediscovering conversations and moments we had together these last few months.  One thing I know for sure looking back is that he was at peace and that he was ready to evolve to the next level.  It was his most important quest at the moment.  Every discussion centered around his spiritual development.  Even his last conversation was about the meaning of life.

Intuitively, at the soul level, I am certain he knew his time to depart us was near.  Too many of us now see the subliminal signs.  We are grateful for our talks with our friend, with the clarity that we gave each other this last year as he waited for a bone marrow transplant.  He had a match but sadly, the match didn't want to do it.  He even found peace with that.  Can you imagine carrying that with you, the knowing that you had a chance at life but facing your own mortality anyway?  Yes, Thomas taught us each so much.  No matter what he was facing or what we were facing, he always had a calmness about him.  His favorite two words as shared by his best friend Brian Lewis last night, "no worries."

This week started with those words in my head.  Monday began with an "unplanned by us but planned by Thomas" diversion.  By the time the day ended, I was in utter awe at what came to pass.  Thank you Lynn and Josh for being a part of it.  In fact, the entire week has had its interesting moments.  All of us have been in contact him since he's crossed over in one form or another and to be able to do that is a beautiful thing in and of itself.

Today's share at Knowing is about the perspective of this loss in my life and in the evolution of Knowing (The Blog).  As I said earlier, Thomas was a great sharer of the knowledge of life.  Many a deep and philosophical discussions occurred between us.  In reflecting upon these things, my best friend Josh whom I spent the afternoon with Monday had this wonderful observation.  

In the Star Wars films, Luke had to face the loss of his mentors in order to graduate to the next level.  Not once, but twice in his own journey in the films.  This is what is happening to all of us whom Thomas touched.  We have lost our Yoda in the physical form.  Thomas taught us all that we needed to receive so he has moved on.  It's now our journey to carry it forward into life and remember.   You see, in Star Wars, when a Jedi master becomes one with The Force they die.  Their spirit becomes part of "The Force."  Once the master has joined The Force they can then return in spirit form to guide their apprentice.  Honestly, for our fellow Star Wars geek Thomas, Josh couldn't of used a better analogy.  Josh got to share this story when Thomas's tribe gathered together to celebrate him last night after the funeral.  It was deep, it was raw, and it was moving.

So yes, I've lost Yoda.  We've all lost our Yoda.  Yet, this is not the end.
No worries.

Namaste.

Copyright ©2013 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Following One's Way - The Teacher

I know the will of my soul.

The act of being brave has paid off a few times over these past 38 years.  Life often has a reciprocity of said things.  By trusting and following a new path in life, I left behind the known that wasn't working in my life for the unknown of endless possibilities.  I was at a crossroads in 2009.  By fall 2010 I'd created this sacred place of renewal, of hope and of strength going forward.  This was the time period when Knowing started as well.

Although I was broken into a few pieces following years of mental anguish, I was whole enough to carry forward, to remember who I was before that pain.  That light pushed out the darkness and once I was free again to thrive, I started making choices that would serve my highest good.  In that like attracts like, it was only fitting that it is at this time that my closest friend would appear and become my greatest teacher in remembering.  That move away from what wasn't serving me into creating a healthy environment of what would serve me set into motion a series of events that have given me some of the best years of my adult life.  As a result of that about face on the journey, I made choices that would allow me to cross paths one night with my first teacher of the metaphysical.

I was at a function for work, an exercise in commitment to myself to leave no stone unturned.  I was doing as I was asked to do, plugging in and playing team.  Interesting about that evening was that I almost didn't go.  I remember sending a message stating that I would be arriving late and apologizing for the same.  I'd been at my mom's in Rappahannock that afternoon helping her and my grandfather.  A perk of living where I live is that I can be there when it matters within minutes.  Just a desire to give back that which I've been given.

I arrived late, walked in and towards the front of the room to have a seat in front of someone I'd not seen there before.  That person is Thomas Grant, IV.  A young man who introduced himself after the meeting and whom I would develop a working relationship with in the near future.  I remember sitting there as if it was just hours ago, feeling his energy, knowing him from before our physical form.  I've met very few people this lifetime who I resonate with from the first moment we see each other but when it has happened, they've always played a roll they were meant to have.  Thomas was one of those people. 

From that chance meeting, a friendship would build that would warrant itself one of the bests of this lifetime.  I say chance because it was an odd night for him to get out of his regular work in the city and make it out here for an evening event.  Oh yes, chance.  The one thing I've learned really doesn't exist.  :) 

All because I dared to jump.  All because I chose to believe.

Yesterday we suddenly lost my friend Thomas Grant IV.  He was my confidant, a frequent fixture in my home.  He was the trusted kind of friend, the kind you don't even question giving an extra house key to.  Once a colleague and eventually a brother.  A light of wisdom, a seeker of truth and a lover of music.  A man who despite his long physical suffering strived to grow and become all that he could.

His mission was to be and by becoming he passed along what he learned on the path.  The last year of his life we took it to another level, meeting each week to do focused work in expanding our highest selves.  Who I am today as a person, a writer and an intuitive is connected deep in the knowledge gained through our friendship and our weekly metaphysical class.  Who he was when he departed was a man of deep gratitude to all who served as his teachers as well.  That was the beauty of our friendship, of our times together.  Everything we exchanged was electric and of a magnitude unlike any other.  The people in our circle are just as in tune to what we're doing.  We will each carry his torch forward through the pain of the physical loss and remember all that we learned because of our bond.  The work is not done.  Thomas is simply now participating from the other side and in the end, that may be his greatest gift yet.

Indeed, this is just the beginning.  Not just for this chapter but for all things Knowing going forward.  I've longed to bring to you the lessons of class, of what truths we are being enlightened to, of the lessons we are learning in our own journeys.  Thomas always supported this and was a large part of the tech side of my vision here as well.  So, as I give thanks to my teacher and best friend expect to get to know him more going forward.  There's so much to write about and share.  Tonight is about the gratitude, about taking the love and the lessons forward.  Tonight is about saying thank you to my fellow teacher.  I will forever be indebted to him.

In closing this introduction to Thomas, I want to share with you what we touched on in our last class.  It was a follow up to a prior discussion about the Hawaiian saying Ho'oponopono.  It literally means (as written from my notes) "I love you. I'm sorry.  Please forgive me. Thank you."  I have included a hyper-link at the word Ho'oponopono above so that you can learn more.  Another seminar of the speaker at the link was actually one of my last shares from Thomas as well.  Incredibly grateful to be able to share it now with you.

I love you.

Thomas making us laugh after class
as we celebrated Josh's birthday this summer.

Copyright ©2013 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

     

Lessons Learned & Taught - Everything You Need to Know

Within the struggle you discover the appreciation.  
Within the darkness you learn to want the light.  
Within the broken pieces of what was, you realize what wasn't.  

Each experience here has a purpose.  Each person has a gift.  Sometimes the people in our lives and the presents they share aren't exactly peachy.  Sometimes, yes, they stink!  Yet they are still there as part of our experience, to serve our greater goods.  Why?  Because they're teaching us lessons.  They're teaching us to appreciate and recognize our blessings.  If it wasn't for the bad apples in the bushel of life we'd never truly appreciate the good ones.

Each of us go through trials and tribulations; some of us more so than others.  We all understand at some point what grief is.  We all know what it is to feel loss and to know love. We all desire to be acknowledged, to be heard and to be respected.  The core of who we are wants nothing more than serenity.  When we feel off, when we feel out of balance, it can take its toll.  It can manifest itself by way of illness, emotional distress or misery just to name a few.  

Think about it.  Is whatever it is that you're holding onto worth that toll?  Is the being stuck in the past, in the what wasn't or what was but for a little while worth it?  Why rob yourself from all that you can create now by continuing to allow it to have a hold on you?  

What we experience isn't our identity.  It's just knowledge.  It's what we do with that knowledge that becomes our identity.

See the secret there?  It's in the choice.  The choice to hold onto those thoughts that don't serve your greater good.  The choice to know better, want better and deserve better.  The choice to let go.  The choice to be present in the here and now.  The choice to shine.

My life, your life, their life; we all have a place here to shine.  Never underestimate your roll in the big picture of someone else's life.  Never take for granted all of the players acting out their roll in yours.  After all, the way I see it, we picked them and they picked us so we have no choice but to look upon them and say to ourselves "thank you." Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2013 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Full Circle Living ~ A Night with Twenty12 Tribe

Full circle living is amusing and always has your full attention.  When you're in the midst of doing that which you set out upon to do, you're at a different vibration.  It's a good thing.  It's a yummy thing.  It's the moments that life is made of.  The evening of the Songs are Stories 3.0 Eye Empire Interview was one of those.  The venue, the friends, the music and the flow all combined to make a "full circle" memory.

Twenty12 Tribe

Listening to Debbie and Dave Phelps, now with Twenty12 Tribe, hanging out with friends and being "present"  sure did make for a memorable event. Deb and I go back to my early legal career, a time when we worked in crazy circumstances. A time when her mom was around too.  That bold woman that was her mother left those crazy circumstances actually. Even in the insanity of that law office, we had good times.  I'm grateful for all that I learned there for it set the foundation of the years to come.

Deb herself has been through hell and back since those times, saying goodbye to her mom because of cancer and fighting for her own life with that same monster.  There she was, up on stage doing what she loves to do, having her own full circle moment.  Just like the good ol' days when I first met her.  I like to think that each time she takes the stage doing what she loves she's reminded of everything that brought her to that moment.  Her friends Pam and Leslie were there too. How awesome for all of them, to have that evening together.  Not only am I happy for their journey, but I'm happy that Deb still is living her life on her own terms.

Way back when....Debbie and Jeff

  
Living life on your own terms and by intention requires daily focus and mindfulness.  It is in essence the default setting of survival.  In ancient times, if you awoke without a daily goal, purpose and plan, you didn't survive. Without a goal, a purpose and a plan one lacked shelter, food and proper choices.  While this is an obvious truth to us all, many in our times are bobbing through the current of life without them. Their survival is the result of other people's actions and not their own.  Each day we have a choice as to how we thrive.  We're lucky in that way.

From someone who has been enjoying more full circle moments as of late, my advice to you is to trust and enjoy your own journey to enlightenment.  There are no rules.  It's all simply experience.  So many people will come in and out of your life, playing their part.  Love them whether they're a page, a chapter or an era in your book of life because in the end, you're learning something from all of them.

For additional information on Twenty12 Tribe visit:
https://www.facebook.com/Twenty12Tribe
http://www.reverbnation.com/twenty12tribe

Copyright ©2013 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

The Garden

Yesterday one dear friend reached out for help while another who has distanced herself remains hospitalized. There are similarities in their current crossroads in that they're both fighting for their lives and sanity at the moment.  It's difficult to be so far away from both of them, to not be able to look them in the eyes, give them a hug and tell them they're going to make it through this.

I also recently learned of another friend's dark time from a couple of years ago.  A friend who's so amazing and makes me laugh every day just by being her silly self.  To read her story was so powerful.  I'm incredibly grateful the Universe gave her an out, a person to confide in and reach out to who has walked the walk she was on the path of.  This mutual acquaintance really did save her life by just being there at the right time.  He of course didn't know this when he was reaching out to inspire others.  Isn't that the way it often goes though?  We're lead by spirit to share and open up, not knowing or understanding who or when that outreach will inspire.

Thinking about all of these things brought me to tears.  Tears of joy at my intuition to set my alarm for an afternoon nap just minutes before my friend called reaching out.  Normally I'd sleep until I was done sleeping and of missed that call.  It also reminded me of how important it is that we listen to the voice from within, that we trust it and act upon the same.  In all honestly, I've never had it steer me wrong.

In the midst of talking with the one friend yesterday the following came through.  I posted it at the Facebook fan page but wanted to include it here as well.  Don't be fearful of the pruning in life.  Don't neglect pulling the weeds either.  Within your struggle is a higher self, a being that is timeless and here to learn.  Listen, love, act, give and receive.  Those nudges that keep calling your name are there for a reason, that reason is your greater good.  Trust in the process and believe and never forget, you're not alone in this journey.  

Spring flowers from my old residence in Sperryville, VA

The Garden

The decisions we make about life are similar to gardening.  When we decide to make a change in our lives, we are planting new seeds to harvest.  At the same time we're planting new seeds, we are often faced with parts of our life that need pruning or removal, just like in the garden.  If we want to grow and make for more beautiful surroundings it is necessary.  Sometimes we transplant people, places and things and other times we get rid of them all together.  It's the same with the pruning part.  Once we decide we won't accept something or that we deserve more from ourselves or those in our life, we find that the choices we're making require cutting back on what doesn't serve us so that we can grow.  The beauty of gardening is that the reward comes from the focused care and attention to the same, just like life.  Time to bloom.  I love you.

Copyright ©2013 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.