Thursday, May 3, 2012

Perspective & Peace - We Control Both

I was recently going through the files on an old computer, cleaning off some old ones while adding news ones.  I don't think it's random that I was adding the audio files for The Silva Method program given to me by a colleague who shares my interest in the paranormal when I stumbled upon some eye opening writings of mine from 2007.  Specifically, I found entries from Valentine's Day 2007, three and a half months before my ex's daughter would come to live with her father (us) full-time.  Valentine's Day, the subject of a blog entry this past February regarding surprise gifts from the universe this year.  I just looked back on my life, summarizing my history with the Holiday and here I find myself reading journal entries from that very day five years ago.

Reading my words from that day on the old computer moved me to tears.  It was such a solid affirmation of why I had to make the difficult choices I did end up making later in the journey, including walking away from a child I loved as my own to save my own sanity and my son's.  I was suffering so badly back then, struggling with what I knew I should be doing verses what I was in fact doing.  By not honoring my authentic self I was creating a dark place in my life.  I am still in shock that I was allowing myself to live in the environment I wrote of, experiencing things that changed who I was at that time.  My career and friendships were the only things that were true to who I was.  Everything else though was in turmoil.  I wouldn't wish upon anyone what I was living with.  Believe me, your environment has the power to effect you in good ways and in bad.  If you're verbally abused, it changes who you are, it warps your expectations and your belief of what you're capable of, and it modifies your belief in what you feel that you deserve.  Reading those words was life changing.  Looking back to that day of journal entries has no doubt even forever changed my life from this point forward today.   

I am extremely grateful that I was able to navigate away from what I was living with back then.  How did I get from there to here though?  My thoughts.  I hung onto my faith in the darkness and eventually mustered the personal strength to walk away from that negative and toxic situation.  I was able to do so because, despite the darkness, I continued to reach out to God, to authors and to information that fostered within me the self worth and belief that what I thought did in fact matter.  I decided to think and create the life I longed to have and wanted verses the life I didn't want and was living. 

In my business we say that if you buy someone's opinion that you buy their lifestyle.  The dark times of my life were spent buying someone else's opinion and living that lifestyle was the ultimate price to pay.  Know this, you have within you everything you need to learn to buy your own opinion and create your own lifestyle.  No matter what you've been through up until this moment, as surely as you are breathing right now, there is still hope for a different way of life.      

You see, the life you are living today is directly related to the thoughts you allowed to dominate your life yesterday, last week, last month, and last year.  You can't change the path you have walked through today but you can change where the path leads simply by listening to your thoughts and honoring your authentic self and what it is trying to tell you.  You can do that today, in the here and now.  

You deserve to be whole, to be cherished, to heal, to be loved and to be happy.  If anyone in your life doesn't add to that, including yourself, do something about it.  Life is too precious, short and fleeting to keep hanging on to those who don't honor you and your place in this world.  Life is too magnificent to hold yourself hostage to the past or to believe in negative, limiting and controlling thoughts as well.  The time is now, the place is here and regrets are painful.  Decide today to be in charge of your perspective and claim your peace.  Trust me, it's beautiful.

Copyright ©2012 Nita Clewis
All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed. 



The Soul Knows What The Soul Knows, Listen

Your soul knows what your soul knows.  Please listen to it.  A recent example of this would be an old friend's name crossing my lips various times, being brought up by other friends in random conversations a few months apart and then suddenly, being given the opportunity to see the person after twelve years of him being absent from my regular day to day mountain life. 

It had been over a decade before these series of events these last months transpired.  I mean, what are the chances right?  Did I listen to the nudges though?  Did I heed the pull from within to take action on what was before me, a chance to reconnect and let my old friend know how much he was appreciated all these years later?  Sadly, the answer is no.  Do I regret it?  Yes.  Why?  On April 17th, that friend, Brian Giacubeno, aka as Brian Jack, crossed over and went home to the other side.  I no longer have that chance to say thank you.

I have such fond memories of our times together and of that part of my life experience.  I was first introduced to Brian in the late 80s/early 90s, when his band Child's Play went from local icons to nationally loved touring artists.  I didn't actually get to know him though until long after that time period of our lives, when we went solo and back to small venues in the immediate traveling area.  Back then, I was working in a profession I loved, living the single life quite happily and traveling all up and down the East Coast supporting the local and not so local musicians I favored.  My partner in crime, Erika, we have endless stories to remember as old ladies in rocking chairs on my back porch one day regarding those adventures.  Brian was a part of those memories, as was his band and our collective friends from that era of our lives.  We were so blessed to have those experiences.  This isn't the first time I have lost one of my influential musician friends, but this is definitely the first time it has brought about a pain like this, the pain of regret.

I was sitting at the bus stop waiting for my daughter when I saw the news on a friend's Facebook page on my phone.  No, please, don't let it be true.  Scrolling through the comment thread I saw the link to the news article.  This beautiful day of fluffy clouds, blue skies and perfect temps in the warm sunlight on top of a mountain drifted away from me.  I sat there in utter shock as I called Erika to see if she knew.  I picked up my iPod and started clicking away, looking for his beautiful face and voice.  There he was.  There I was.  

Listening, my mind drifted back to the last time we saw each other, when I was pregnant with my son.  I wept waiting.  Why didn't I listen to the nudges?  Why didn't I figure out a way to go to that show with Erika in Maryland but a handful of months ago?  I was so gutted sitting there waiting on my girl.  The bus stopped and I sucked it all up though, going about my day until the stillness of the evening crept in later.  Really?  He's gone.  Just like that, he's gone.  So incredibly tragic and sad.  

The last time I saw Brian was in Ocean City, Maryland during one of my weekend excursions with Erika.  Ah yes, the OC years.  I still have a fondness for that cruddy place on the Atlantic Ocean.  In all honesty, Brian was at a good point on his journey then.  He was happy, healthy and falling in love with a wonderful woman.  The latest solo band was booking gigs all around the DC/MD/VA area and there was a core group of fans who had stood by his side post Child's Play.  All and all, he was settling into his new life quite nicely.  We laughed so hard that weekend in that little venue are rarely slept a wink the night of the show.  That was one of the best things about Brian, he could crack a silly voice in a conversation and make you laugh until your abdominal muscles ached.     

Thinking back to those times of my life, I can't help but smile in gratitude.  It's no secret that I love music and that I live for it.  Brian was part of that love, part of the local music scene.  He supported it and believed in it 1000%.  He left an impression everywhere he went.  Some loved him, some even hated him, but either way, he was still Brian and he was still going to live his life on his terms and in his own amazing way and with no regrets for any of it.  After all, isn't that the point of life, to live it on your terms and to be authentic to who you are?  Learning of his death, a part of my youth felt as if it had passed with him.

As I mentioned above, the last year he'd been on my radar.  First post move, then in a conversation with Timmy, and lastly with Erika a few times before we tried to mesh schedules this past winter upon catching announcement of a Child's Play reunion show in Maryland. Yes, this loss is incredibly sad for his family, his close friends, and the fans who loved him.  It's taken me weeks to craft the words and revise them here, wanting to do his beautiful soul justice.  

If you take anything away from this post, please, when you feel the pull from within, when their names cross your lips, your mind, and when it happens repeatedly, please listen.  The soul knows what the soul knows.  Just listen.  Stop arguing with it.  Stop putting it off.  Take action.  Listen.  I didn't.  You still can.  The time is now, the place is here and regrets are painful.  Just listen. 

Love and respect Brian.  One day, we'll see you on the other side. ~ Neeters


Copyright ©2012 Nita Clewis
All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed. 


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Golden Rule Living & Your Dominant Thoughts

An interesting series of conversations with friends has transpired this last twenty-four hours.  Centering around acceptance of our paths and the power of our intentions we have discussed kindness, gratitude, happiness and the things that really matter in life such as respect, family and friendship.  I'd like to share the commonalities of each for I truly believe the universe has a message for all of us in them.

Lets start with kindness.  Kindness in my opinion is simply golden rule living.  You see, The Golden Rule, it is the foundation of all universal life laws.  By doing onto others as we would have them do onto us, we are sewing seeds in the universe of kindness, respect, appreciation, and love.  All too often though, as we navigate the journey, we have noticed that we are surrounded though by the exact opposite of the golden rule.  

I see it all the time when out and about in the day to day activity of living.  People are in a rush, they cut each other off in traffic, race to be first to the ATM, speak before thinking about their words and are selfish in their motives.  Just yesterday I saw where my friends daughter called out someone on Facebook who'd taken a handicapped parking space who wasn't handicapped, simply to beat her to the ATM machine.  I mean really, what was so important to not park in the next space over?

It is as if those acting rude and not in kindness are also acting out of fear of loss.  Fear that if they're not first, that if they're not tartly spoken, etc. that somehow they're going to miss out on something.  Worst yet, a portion of society acts this way in pursuit of success.  This simply isn't true though.  When we act in kindness and sew the seeds of good deeds we are putting a frequency into the universe of the same which in turn opens us to receive through the universal law of attraction.

Take for instance my one friend who has been giving his time to his friends and family to do good deeds that the universe has put upon his heart.  He could instead decide to put that time into his career and work but he instead wishes to be a servant leader to his family member and a selfless friend in the mix of his daily responsibilities.  Sadly though, the majority of society does not operate at this level.  People are so out of balance.  They take, take and take some more without giving back that which they are capable of, not realizing that by having predominant thoughts of taking they are simply creating that "it's never enough" "we need something better, something more" sense of lack.   

By finding gratitude for everything we are blessed with we are also opening up ourselves to the frequency of abundance and success as well.  Ever notice how much those people who aren't grateful suck the life out of you whereas those people who are grateful give you energy?  Think about your colleagues, your friendships and your family.  How does each person make you feel when you're interacting with them?  See, it really is that simple.  This is why it's so important to pay attention to the energy around you as well as the energy you're giving out to others.

If you're working in a profession that leaves you without energy, one that creates an imbalance in your family life, your friendships and your love life, then you need to pay attention to that lack of energy.  If you are chasing after tangible things so fiercely that you're missing out on what really matters, then you need to pay attention to that loss.  Creating a life that gives you the success you seek and the feelings you wish to experience truly does come down to your predominant thoughts, as well as your taking action on those thoughts.

As my second friend I spoke to will tell you, life is too precious and fleeting to dwell on the past.  By doing so, you allow yourself to stay victim to it.  By instead turning your energies to creating that which you do want, you will find in your path people, places and opportunities that will give you the same.  She knows, she's doing it right now and as she says, it seems like it is so easy when it does come.  When we select verses settle the types of success we experience in life and strive to have the balance associated with the same, we are in turn creating our happiness.  

Really, at the end of the journey, what's going to matter anyway?  The peacefulness of knowing that the life you created was balanced, one where you lived the Golden Rule and creating abundance because of good deeds or will it be a life of emptiness and of the pain of regret, of loss and of never good enough attitudes that hurt others along the journey?  Take the time, be kind, reach out, be of service to each other and create success through listening and acting on your callings to do the same.

Copyright ©2012 Nita Clewis
All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.