Life "After" a Global Crisis

Here we are, humanity, trying to makes heads or tails of the craziest year and a half most of us can remember. 

Did this bring us together, or tear us apart? Did the loss of life, income and opportunity make you bitter or push you out of your comfort zones? 

Are you still suffering? It feels as if most of the planet still is, and that we're really no better off than we were when the news broke. 

I wish I had the answers, but I don't. All I do know is that we have to put ourselves first. We have to take care of our health, our bodies, those things within our control, as best we can. 

We have to let go of people who are toxic and who bring harm in hard times. In the same breath, we need to know the difference between intentional harm and harm as a result of mental distress. There are many good eggs out there who are spiraling through this mess and that spiral looks and feels like something it really isn't if you take the time to see past the rants and look at the person behind them. 

The world is at its highest recorded numbers of mental illness, suicide and addiction use. Keep this in mind when you're operating out in the world. If you have love to give, radiate it. If you need love, ask for it. We're all still in this together, whether we like it or not.

Triggers - Feelings Vs Fear

Every story in our head can be rewritten. In life, each moment we are breathing, it's another chance to course correct.

Negative emotions, so many of us, we run from them. We hide behind food, alcohol, pills, etc. We run in fear from feeling. We don't have to live on that vibration though. We can chart a different way of deliberate intent. We can co-create anything we get into alignment with.

The key to getting there though, it's the feeling. The feeling is what sets us free. Don't be afraid to feel. To navigate it. To grow through it. Our feelings create our life because they send out our belief system into the Universe. The best part of feeling, is owning it. Of allowing it to just be as it is. Once we know what doesn't feel good, we can get about the business of creating what feels right. Trust and believe, it can all serve your greater good. If you let it. FEEL.

Remember that. I love you.
🙏📿☮️💫💙📚📼💽🔊

Dots Along The Journey

Life, it's never dull around here. I have a father in the throws of dementia and fading away, most days not even knowing who I am, or how much he loves me. A mom who lives in the opposite direction travel wise, not feeling herself, in and out doctors and hospitals, afraid of what's ahead for both of us. Afraid of being a burden. Oh the lies we tell ourselves when we are vulnerable. Family, love, it's NEVER A BURDEN.

Yet, despite these consuming life stresses, and having my entire world turned upside down about 90 days ago as it pertains to best friends and my volunteer/work life, I can see the dots.

I now see how one of my closest cheerleaders on this Lipedema healing journey, since I learned its name in 2012, how her betrayal and mean girl behaviors pushed me to own my truths, and to move away from that which wasn't healthy for me. How the most painful experiences were catalysts for change.

What wasn't making me happy, had to go. She wasn't making me happy. My volunteer work for another wasn't making me happy either. Not owning my truths, those truths, was making me uneasy, and unwell. In the end, she set me free.

Reciprocal relationships, those make me happy. Healthy, that makes me happy too. Thriving, now that makes me the happiest. It was time my day-to-day relationships evolved in alignment with my body, and my healing.

You see, you tolerate a lot of bad behaviors from people when you don't have a grasp on your own self worth, when you are unwell. I swore when I found the courage to leave my ex-husband who was verbally abusive (over 8 years ago), that I would not repeat patterns of the past. That I would take however much time I needed to heal from that. I honestly thought I had done so.

Thing is, I hadn't. Even with continued therapy. Not completely. The events of June showed me that truth.

I found myself instead around, and in love with, narcissistic personalities. Supposed friends who had no follow through to ever really treat me the way I treat people. Both persons showed their true colors when my back acted up in February. Those March ripples broke shore as violent waves come June. By July, I was done. Shattered, and ready to move forward, drama free, healthy, whole, and at peace. 

So, that brings us to today. And, today is freedom.

Yesterday, I did a damn thing. I allowed myself to be filmed, talking about this fucking disease Lipedema and all that it has done to me, and made me, in the last 30 years. 30 YEARS. 30 YEARS!!!!

I was vulnerable. I was raw. I hid nothing. I owned it all.  Every mistake.  Every lesson. This is me. Beautiful, fragile, and once broken by Lipedema, me. An hour of showing, educating, and just being unapologeticly, me. I laughed. I cried. It was, without a doubt, an exercise in expansion. The hardest and best thing I have done yet since knowing its name.

I know that I own this disease now, that it doesn't own me anymore. I also know that if we never give up, the dots will connect. We will get to eventually see what's being drawn before us.

We get so hung up in the how. We really have to remember to just trust in the process, trust in the pulls. I started going public two years ago, and became intentional 90 days ago. Had I not done those things, been fearless, owned its name, I would not of just had the opportunity I had.

The people who hurt me, the mean girl who used to comment on every transformation photo, who wanted me to get made up, dress nice, and GET THE GUY, she in turn gave me the best parting gift in her wake of damage and betrayal. A reminder of my self worth. A reminder that, as my grandma Irene once said, WE ARE THE DREAM.

That gift allowed me to be who I was yesterday, talking about Lipedema, just not giving a fuck, and being fearless. Those painful experiences with her equalled a resolve and peace I had forgotten I could procure.

Jealousy and addiction does crazy things to people. Love them anyway, just from afar. After all, they're struggling and evolving just like the rest of us.

Then, it hit me hard, thinking about it all, the dots to be able to even handle yesterday. Like an avalanche, as my stomach was turning in nervousness yesterday morning, it all came full circle. If I was losing my mind the last week reliving 30 years of the dream and trauma attached to it, sane and sober, how in the world did someone I love ever do it unwell and addicted? Talk about it all coming full circle. About compassion. About, twinning, and timing. Yes, twinning. Oh yeah, I own that too these days. No fear. No regrets.

See, that's the thing about never giving up. You don't get to see the beauty of it all unless you stick and stay long enough.

Please, never give up on your own fights. Somewhere along the way you're connecting someone else's dots, just as someone else is connecting yours. Remember that, I love you.

You deserve to be well, too. 

The Skip

I have a friend who genuinely tries to let me in. This person is someone with whom I have a reciprocal friendship with. The kind of friend, who randomly thinks about you, and picks up their phone to see if you have responded to their last text. The kind of friend, who no matter how hectic life gets, reaches out to ask how you are, and actually waits to hear the answer; and, the kind of friend who reaches out again, when time has passed, and there isn't a reply.

I call these friends my lifers. They're around me by design, co-creating lives, and sharing in the human experience. They're committed to us by a force that's far more determined than shear human choice. It's as if there isn't a choice. It just is, and that's that. There's no other story to be written, they're in our lives "by design."

I like to consider myself an open book as well. Anyone close to me, within that tribe of people, can connect with me. Yet, despite that proclamation, I skip with this one friend who genuinely tries to let me in. Meaning, I do this annoying thing of not answering the inquiry with this particular friend.  So much so it became down right annoying for both of us, and I had to figure out why I wasn't being my normal self.

I skipped to be a shield.  

At first, I would do it because I was trying to protect this kindrid spirit from any additional details of my life. We all have been there, when our own life is already so discombobulated that we simply can't absorb that which is being told to us. And, we sure as hell have no business taking it on. But, we do it anyway, because we love those in our tribe.

Then, I skipped to avoid retelling. 

Life has become challenging remembering all of the important lessons my grandfather's passing taught me. Lessons I must remember now as I walk my own father down familiar paths. Between the PTSD of those events a few short years ago, and this marathon of loss we have been running since, it's deflating. I can tell my lifer in TX. I can tell my childhood neighbor over a phone call. Yet, I was skipping in one relationship, and not allowing this person in who wants to be there.

Then, I was skipping because I wasn't the one who normally seeks comfort, wisdom, or laughter. I was Superwoman (not my words), the one everyone else goes to. But, if one person is so much to so many, then who gets to be that person's comfort, wisdom, and laughter? Basically, who is Superwoman/Superman in Superwoman's life? Welllllp, mine are already deceased/home (gulp), or on their way home (sigh). Then it hit me. Like a brick.

Finally, I realized what was really going on! I was continuing to skip because I have walls up.  I was skipping to avoid an intimacy and vulnerability that simply put, just felt different. I was skipping to avoid a pull and energy I hadn't felt so fiercely since 8th grade science hallway walk on the way to shop class.  Each day that I skip, that I keep the wall up, I am avoiding.

Life is too short damn short for avoiding. Enough.

I am working to bring down my walls, one brick at a time. Oh, and there's a cracked foundation I am rebuilding too. I've spent the last 8 years diligently rediscovering myself, and making peace in the pain of the seasons of life.  Change is the one inescapable constant. We flow better through life when we observe those changes, versus reacting to every moment of them.  Healing is a course of direction, and not a destination.  Going forward, I have made a pact with myself to stop skipping. To stop deflecting. To stop putting up boundaries.

One of my dearest friends and teachers Thomas once said, "you can't fight nature." Meaning, we are what we are, and we are a species built to be driven to survive through the bonds of our tribe. He was reminding me of the Universal Wisdom of life, of letting go, and of being in the now. Remember that. I love you.

Walking The Talk - Faith > Fear

While visiting with my sweet friend Serena today, a friend whom I'd not seen since high school that I'd reconnected with on Facebook, she brought up a "name" in our mix of conversation, a simple inquiry as to how that person in question was. Immediately, as in micro-expression immediately, my energy shifted, and it was ridiculously apparent (in a good way) that the person she was asking about has an effect on my being unlike any other person in my world right now.  And, as much as I've tried of late to stuff that away, and NOT acknowledge it, more and more people seem to cross my path or our paths inquiring as to what's going on in my life with said person.

My initial knee jerk reaction is that it's NOT what they think they see or observe. I almost feel like that story about how God throws pebbles to get your attention, and then you don't listen, so it becomes rocks, then bricks, and then boulders! It's one thing if one person says it. Or, when one of your psychic medium friends says it came through a conversation she was having gardening, and you're soooooo head over heals elsewhere, you're rolling your eyes on the phone muttering to yourself "whatever, he's wrong chica, it's not like that, you'll see" seven months ago. But, it's an entirely another thing when they say it, the deceased say it, and then a long ass line of random, not so random friends and acquaintances say it. Over, and over, and over again.

Maybe I'm blind. Maybe I'm so wrapped up in my family, my work, my health and the music and nature that sustains me, that I'm just not focused on it. Maybe I can't let what they see into my psyche, because I feel that I'm not ready for that kind of a connection with another person right now.  

When peppered with the endless questions as of late, my brutal and honest answers have been, "I don't really know. They're not typically my type or someone I would covet, I don't date '_________' (profession), I just adore them. No, really. (straight face) I never date them, I just love on them. Shocker, I know. However, I do understand what you're saying about the energy. There is something there that binds us, that I can't articulate or put my finger on, an easiness and flow...." followed by "Yeah, you're certainly not the first person to say that or ask that or comment on your observations either. Seriously though, I really don't know. I do love them, and would do anything for them, but they're not even my *type*, and it's not a romantic love."

I do "know" though. No matter how much I deny it, I flipping know.  It's been creeping up on me like a dang stealthy ninja. I also know the timing isn't right to even think about the possibility of it. So, why am I griping about timing?

Simply because I know that I'm using the next year of my life to get a strong handle on this Lipedema thing, the one single thing that holds me back from thinking I'm worthy of what I want in life, which is for someone to see me for the beautiful and amazing human being that I am, and to love me fearlessly and protect me steadfastly to the ends of the earth. There. I said it. I look at the package, of what this fat disease has done to my body, and it makes me fucking cringe. Bad. So, because it makes me cringe, I allow myself to believe and accept that it makes males cringe too. Therein lies my greatest obstacle at present, thinking that I'm limited by something I have zero control over, that's hereditary with no real cure, and going to be with me until the moment I take my last breath. Something that I also believe I can change. Just google images of Amanda Arlauskas. She was diagnosed on The Biggest Loser Season 9 with Lipedema. That diagnosis wasn't televised, but it explained to her why some fat just isn't going to go anywhere without a special type of surgery that back then was only practiced outside of the USA. Granted, girlfriend doesn't have my calves (which one is equal to the circumference of my waist, wrap your head around that bullshit), but still, she's an inspiration to all Lipedema ladies worldwide.

So, in following my own advice, I have to ask myself hard questions. Maybe fear is driving the wheel versus faith. Maybe I've lost so many, and so much the last few years, that in the back of my head, I know that grief is in equal measure to that which we love. Maybe I'm afraid to get close, to love and to possibly lose. Not because it doesn't work out, but because they die. Maybe I'm so put off by this energy that I question whether or not it's real, or if it's what everyone else thinks they see. Yeah, I must be blind. Or in denial. Either way, that's not healthy either.

The stroke in December taught me that I love A LOT of people in my life and in turn, A LOT of people love me. I've never been one to easily allow other people's love in though, even though I fearlessly love upon others. It's just how I'm made and I work every darn day to allow reciprocal relationships into my life. In fact, 2015 was the year of the reciprocal relationship. I told myself I was pruning away anyone and everyone that didn't cut it, who wouldn't do for me as I would do for them. It was tough and I let go of people I wanted to hang onto who weren't healthy for me.

Knowing how easy it is to lose, I know that life is special and fleeting. That time waits for no one, and that we have to follow our pulls in life, both with friends and with lovers. Many people say they want to be in a relationship with a best friend, to have that bond. I have many male friends, some of whom are best friends and in all honesty, I'm not "pulled" towards any of them in that way that would one day pull us out of the friend zone. As for my "different energy" friend that everyone is squawking about, I consider myself dang special to have that kind of friend in my life, someone who others say makes me glow or float about my day-to-day art of living simply because of that energy and our unexplained connection.  

You see, I knew when two of my departed friends left this world that somehow, someway, someone (or two, or three) would come along to light up those dark and empty places that they left behind in me. That one day I'd meet a new metaphysical junkie, a new muse, a new creative force, and a new fan of Knowing's writings/my work/downloads/nudges. I just didn't know it might all be the same person. Ooooppps. Good one gentlemen, good one. You got me there.  

People have come and gone in my life, and those I care for the most, my tribe, they've become lifers. I collect them, cherishing those things about them that make them special and beautiful as people. It's been written by many astrology experts that Aquarians have issues with confusing love and friendship. To that I say, why can't one have both? Why can't happily ever after be a progression of both? There's no rhyme or reason to energies and affairs of the heart. What will be will be and when you "know"....you freaking "know."  Yet, I'm over here in serious denial, or blissfully unaware. Then again, maybe I'm not supposed to "know" when it comes to this one. Maybe the "knowing" is blocked in that area so that I don't analyze it to the point of paralysis, or jump the gun.

At least it will help in that I'm also not a "chaser" either, meaning if someone wants something more from me than a friendship, I'm not the one whose going to pursue it. I'm old fashioned like that. If a man has an interest, he'll show it. If I have an interest, I'll reciprocate. It really is as simple as that. See, I live my life using the things I share with others as my tools for survival: Intention, trust, intuition and belief.  

I intend to love myself fearlessly and protect myself to the ends of the earth first, before I can allow another to do the same. I trust that the Universe is going to manifest someone who is as intoxicated with me as I am with them. I sense that when it happens, that I'll feel it from within or it will be so evident that I can't hide it, which might be what happened today within that micro-expression and energy shift. I believe that it's possible, and that I'm worthy of that kind of life long connection. The kind that makes you better because you heal. Because you want to shine bright and be your best self simply because someone else is there with you, sharing that journey who inspires you to do so. Someone you learn from and lean on, and someone you in turn reciprocate all those traits back towards. Someone who can receive the love you have to give, as well as give it. In the end, I think we're all worth this. Remember that. I love you.

Copyright ©2016 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Waking Up - Acts II & Acts III

It started just like any other day.  I woke up, I gave thanks, I resonated on the day at hand and then I worked out.  I had my Juice Plus (which is one of my most favorite hacks in life, no, I don't sell it, but I can get you a link to a few people who do), my unsalted nuts as a snack later and I planted seeds for my business and ate leftover Thai for lunch.  I even made sure I had my cold pressed pineapple juice in the morning to get its wonderful anti-inflammatory properties going.  Yes, when it comes to nourishment, I'm mindful.  Mindful because I have this thing called Lipedema.  Mindful because I'm one of millions of Americans uninsured.  Mindful because cardiovascular problems run in my family, as does diabetes and clot problems with the women.  Mindful because I'm anchored to this world by the most compassionate and quick witted 16 year old boy on the planet.

Then I was tired.  Really, really tired.  I thought to myself that my PMS was kicking my rear this month, that I needed to lay down.  So, I did and laying there, I felt dopey tired.  The kind of tired that hits you when you have to take pain medication or you're going under for surgery.  It was heavy and it was instant.  I slept.  When I woke up, I was on my right side.  Normal.  Man oh man did my arm hurt, as did my face on that side.  I must have pinched a nerve.  Why was I so so, so, so tired though?  Why did I feel like I was coming out of surgery?  Having problems rolling over and sitting up?  Having problems staying awake on the john?  What in the hell is happening to me?  I know, I must have pinched a nerve and my hormones must be out of whack.  I'll go pet the rescue feral and bond with him until I wake up completely and get the feeling back in my face and my arm stops hurting. I could hear him scratching at his door anyway.  

I sat with him, reading my friend's messages to me while asleep.  My arm was so heavy trying to pet him.  It hurt so bad.  I was trying to use it to hit the voice to text button on my phone.  It didn't want to do what I wanted it to do.  I tried to talk, I felt loopy.  I could hear the words in my head but I was talking in slow motion.  I told my friend I felt like a zombie, that something was off, that I'd never felt like this before and I felt drugged.  I eventually actually composed a couple of messages and sent them to her.  I walked into my kitchen and grabbed the house phone from the living room to call a friend in the medical profession as she was getting off work.  We talked.  She was alarmed.  I listened.  Then, the most important thing I did was I acted.  I went to the hospital in town.  I was having a stroke. At 40.

Yes, at 40 years young, I was having a TIA.  One that would leave me with a sore arm, and a novocaine is wearing off cheek that's trying to heal itself to this day.  All tests would show I wasn't at risk.  In fact, I was at lower than average risk.  All those fruits and veggies I love to eat with my sea life and occasional land animals would pay off.  My panels were beautiful and I had no clots anywhere they looked for them.  I don't know what's scarier, knowing you've had a stroke or knowing you've had a stroke but you can't really explain why you've had it and what needs to be done to correct it?  Ummm, yeah.  That was my thought exactly.  Let that sink in for a moment.

Within 48 or so hours, I was home in my bed again, loving on my furbabies and thanking all that is for my place in this world.  Crying over reconnecting with that girl I raised as my own who walked out of our lives.  Moved over my friends and family gathering around to lift me up and see me through it all. Shaken to my very core because......because I knew before it happened that something was coming.  So much so I updated my complimentary estate planning (Will, Advance Medical Directive and Living Will) through my LegalShield provider law firm because I could do so at no cost owning their membership (not to mention I connect others with it and I do have medical bills to pay so if you need help in the USA, let me know).  My finalized documents arrived on Wednesday. I stroked on Thursday.  

I'd heard the whispers in my ears to go on a baby aspirin regimen just because.  I felt the obnoxious pull to get every faucet of my life in order.  I had weird sappy moments of wanting to write letters to every important person in my life "just in case" I didn't get to tell them what they meant to me in this journey (of which I still plan to do except now that urgent NOW is gone).  Anytime I felt like not working out, I felt the pull and kick in the rear to do so and go above and beyond the last round.  I just felt this feeling that something was coming and that I was running out of time.  But here's the thing.  I wasn't worried about it or obsessed about it.  I just had these fleeting thoughts and went about my days, living and enjoying life being of service to others and creating something good for myself and my anchor in this world. 

48 hours grounded me and leveled me.   48 hours woke me up more than I already thought I was awake.  48 hours made me run out of "fucks to give."  Something happens when you think you're young and healthy and the body fires a warning shot.  You're left laying there captive in a hospital analyzing everything behind and ahead of you.  You remember what matters most and what doesn't.

Three things matter in this life.  Connecting with others.  Having stability.  Nurturing ourselves.  As long as we do those three things, we're pretty stress free and content with surviving.  We're actually thriving when we do these things.  Nothing makes me happier than connecting with another human being, whether in friendship, business or in love.  Having a roof over my head and yummy food in the cabinets and fridge that's good for my body and spirit keep me level.  It's been a darn good life, even with all the heartache of loss and changes that come when you grow up and learn to love yourself first. Had that afternoon been my call home, I could of made peace with that, even if I'd of been pissed off to have missed out on the things I have left to do here and the people I have left to love on.  Especially my parents considering their own health problems these last couple of years.  They didn't need that and thankfully, didn't have to deal with such a loss. 

I was high on life and grateful to be in a place to receive so much love.  It's hard for me to allow other people to do for me as I have done for them.  I had to learn to allow people in and to just receive.  I was reminded by a friend in the flow that, "I don't believe it's a consequence that EVERY SINGLE GALAXY is spinning, every planet and star is spinning, every atom is spinning...Hence...What goes around comes around."  I had to allow those whom I've poured into to in turn pour into and do for me.  It was a valuable life lesson for Ms. Independent.  One I'm still doing my best to navigate.  

Then, as I was recovering, I came down with the worst illness/bug I've had in my 40 years of living.  In the middle of the night, I danced with the devil and hit rock bottom in that suffering.  The next morning I was thrown a lifeline by a dear friend calling to check in on me and I picked myself out of the wallows of desperation and into the light of transcendence and surrender.  I was going to get well.  I was going to feel good again.  I was going to live this life.  And most of all, I was going to continue to give thanks to those who are part of my tribe who give me a reason to be here and thrive. 

Tonight, as I pen this draft, I'm on the tail end of that super bug.  I'm focused on healing my mom and son who are now suffering with it, as well as my dear friend who helped me do some driving for my son over the winter break.  I'm a few weeks away from 41 and doing something I love, listening to live music with dear friends, old and new.  My guides and angels are with me.  No matter what comes next, I'm ready.  I'm free.  I carry forward into Act III of this life an overflowing joy and peace at what is and oceans full of hope for what will be.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure they say.  It's true.  Take care of yourselves.  Make right choices.  Find and create joy in your life.  Learn to remove life's stresses and just be.  Stop analyzing what's been or about to be.  Just enjoy the ride and go about the business of connecting, creating stability and nourishing your body, mind and spirit.  The rest is just experience anyway and good or bad, it's all going to serve your greater good.  Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2016 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Taking Inventory - Masterful Choices

November 7, 2015

Time, it really doesn't stop when we do.  I find myself mere hours away from another date that's bittersweet, reflecting on what was and hanging on for life to the here and now.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about those who've gone home.  This time of year however is different now.  I find myself for about six weeks or so struggling to stay in a place of acceptance.  Of making sense of it all.  Of holding onto what was right for the 3 years I was honored to know Thomas Grant IV, versus getting angry or bitter over what was taken away from us all.

The last month, my favorite time of year, and in all honesty, my favorite month, has been more than interesting for 2015.  Given the battle within, October brought with it a whirlwind reprieve of discoveries and aha moments.  So much so that I had to start keeping track just to make sure I was in fact, not losing my mind over what I was experiencing.  Anyone who knows me and interacts with me can tell you that I find joy in the whimsy of life that makes one wonder.  To repetitively have information and evidence of the things unseen is enough to make anyone's head spin.  It's not like I'm special either.  My understanding and experiences have been that we can all do it.  We can all tune in and connect.  Seriously, I'm not special when it comes to these things (repetitive, absolutely!).  We can all sit here in stupefied awe at the wonders of it all.

As I navigate the last of this year, instead of being sad or letting winter bring its blues, I'm staying mindful in focusing on the gratitude.  Focusing on those things which I've learned, that which has brought positive growth, and memories of what lies ahead.  Being grateful for the pulls in life too has helped.  I tell you what, when you take inventory of them, of the pulls and the wins, and list to digest what each and every pull has brought you forward in your journey, you step back in utter awe of it all.  You get under your skin this invisible cloak of trust.  A way of operating in the world wherein you listen to what guides you from within.  You become fearless and when you do fall, you don't stay down for long before you decide to get back up again.

Is it easy to be this way?  Heck no.  It takes a whole lot of mindfulness and endless practice.  It's truly a moment by moment thing sometimes.  We experience.  We react.  We reflect.  We plan.  Then we go at it all over again.

Is it worth it?  You bet your sweet ass it is.  Is sure beats the flip side of being down in the muck with the darkness, slave to our circumstances.  I don't wish that darkness upon anyone, not even my least favorite people.  Doubt, fear and feeling pitiful are part of the human condition.  However, they're not the destination.  They're simply hurdles to jump as we progress on down the road.  I've long been told and believe that we're our greatest victor as well as our most annoying opponent in life.  Kudos to my extended family and friends for keeping me mindful of the true battle in life, the battle of the mind.   Without a doubt, it's the greatest thing we'll ever learn to master.

Remember that.
I love you.

Copyright ©2015 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.  

The Mirror: Relationships 101 - A Litmus Test

As a survivor of narcissistic, psychopathic and sociopathic abuse, I learned A LOT by screwing up my own life to be able to pound these keys to share the following.  Adding to that decade of wrong choices is two decades of working with clients going through divorces and planning their estates.  Lets just say that I have a very directed point of view about what does and doesn't work in relationships.  

I'm back to this area of life sharing because I have a few friends struggling to stay afloat in the rapids of significant other love.  One is trying to leave a narcissist and sociopath whom they share a child with.  Another is repeating low self worth behaviors with a new abuser.  One has a lazy partner who doesn't know how to covet what he wants and projects his own insecurities upon her.  And another is so desperate to be loved, honored and cherished that they've been blinded by what is versus what they want and actually deserve.  I mean damn, was I just not writing in my last blog about my own journey in remembering and letting go of someone who wasn't there for my greater good?  That's how this life is though.  It brings to the forefront people I love seeking comfort, guidance and advice of things that mirror mine or another's evolution of self.  I get to receive downloads and inspired thoughts for them, who are in effect being used as a tool to teach another person I love, sometimes even myself.

As you embark upon the last two months of this year, I really want you to connect with what's coming through right now for each of you below.  To listen and receive what's pulling on you in your life that deserves your attention.  That way, when we greet 2016, you will have set yourself up for your best year of sorting yet in Life Department Love.  Sit down.  Light some Nag.  Walk on the shore. Absorb what I'm about to say.  Then act damn it.  ACT.  You are far too precious in this world to not know these things and those with children, they are watching and learning what we do.

Ladies and gentlemen, if the person in your life doesn't bring you peace, understanding and grace, they're not there in your life to fix those things in them.  They're there in your life to remind you of what you don't want.  Of what you don't deserve.  Of what you're working towards.  Those of you who know me understand that although I'm not a religious person, that I do love God and take away from the Bible many of its Universal teachings.  One that I've learned to apply in my own life is from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  The one that says...

What I basically do now with everyone allowed personal time with me is to hold them to this standard.  Friends, coworkers, family and lovers; no one is immune from it.  I just replace their name with the word Love and see if the person measures up to be worthy of my efforts, time and attention.  So, ask yourself these hard questions and be open to prune away those not serving your greatest good.  Some will need to be gone for good.  Others you'll need to learn how to put healthy boundaries in place for.  After all, we can't pick new fruit if our hands are full of that which is rotten.

1.  Is he/she patient?

We're not talking the typical Nita wants what she wants, when she wants it, today is for the living, where was I again when patience was given away as a virtue?  We're talking about you and your evolution of self.  Do the people in your life allow for your own personal growth?  Do they stay the course?  Do they know how to wait on God to do his work through you and in you?

2.  Is he/she kind?

Hello! Stop sign!  This is not about when someone wants something from you.  Is the person kind?  To animals.  To others.  To that pain in the ass who just cut them off in traffic when they've already had a crazy stressful day.  How does this person handle stress and the day-to-day art of living?  Are they mean or do they strive to lead with love and be kind?

3.  Is he/she jealous?

We're not talking territorial here.  We're talking flat out lack of self esteem and self worth envy. The not believing or knowing one's worth.  The being driven by fear of loss to not trust with every fiber of your being that this person in your life is there for a reason, and even if that reason doesn't last, their lessons left upon your life will IF YOU ALLOW THEM TO.

4.  Does he/she boast?

Boasting is ego rooted.  It comes from a lack of connection to source.  Of not understanding the laws of intention, attraction and action.  Boasting comes from a lack of sense of self.  Humble people know they have God given talents and can be amusing in their assertions, but when it comes down to it, they won't take credit for what flows through them to help another.  They sow seeds of good deeds not for praise, but for what they're doing.  Simply to be a light.  To do good in the world for another.

5.  Is he/she proud?

This is not about "I met my sales goals last month.  Whoo hoo!" or "Hello my friend, do I not have the best ever magic hands?" or "Mom, I'm on the honor roll again (hint hint, where's my money)."  This is about people who have a lack of self esteem and self worth who build themselves upon being prideful.  They don't get that just being themselves IS ENOUGH.  That being patient, kind and loving is enough.  Again, boasting is rooted in a lack of self worth.  It's a caution sign of sorts in dealing with other people and operates much like jealousy and pride.  All of these things are rooted in fear and lack.

6.  Does he/she easily anger?

While some moodiness is chemical in nature, most is attitude and a lack of regard for others.  A lack of golden rule living in the heat of the moment kind of thing.  Note the word EASILY above.  Is he/she thick skinned?  Can they navigate the world in such a way that little things aren't big things? Anger is a symptom of other issues.  It's a trigger for change needed and a reflection of fear.  Anger is often about control.  Those who anger easily have much personal evolution to work on and remember, it's NOT YOUR ROLE to fix them.  That's between them and God.

7.  Does he/she keep a record of your wrongs?

Oh yes, the laundry list.  You know, that list that comes out each and every time a new issue comes up that needs discussion and growth in.  The record of every mistake you ever made or personality flaw you've ever had with the other person.  Score keeping is rooted in control.  It's a way for a person to feel at home in a victim role.  It's how those with a lack of sense of worth and self navigate their broken world. The opposite is letting go of wrongs, of knowing we're all human and here to fail and make mistakes.  We're not a definition of those mistakes, we're a definition of who we allow ourselves to become in light of them.

8.  Does he/she delight in suffering?

Wallow in negative things?  Hurt other people?  All of which could be considered evil.  My mom has a great saying, "Some people have a need to suffer."  That's their path.  Not mine.  Not yours.  Not your employees.  They just don't know how to survive without creating chaos.  Their entire identity is about the struggle or their victimhood.

9.  Does he/she rejoice when truth is spoken?

When the Universal Knowledge of life flows?  When one graciously with love corrects or points out an unsavory behavior?  Or does the person fight you tooth and nail, dancing with denial, projecting their own issues upon you?  None of us like to be corrected.  None of us like to learn that we're hurting another person.  Denial is a defensive mechanism of learning truth.  Trust me, and look me in the eye when I say this, YOU WILL REPEAT YOUR MISTAKES UNTIL YOU LEARN THE LESSONS IN THEM.  So will others.  This is when we REALLY have to work on our egos to lead with love. To humbly accept another's opinion of where we're going ary and to ask God and our guides for guidance in showing us the truth behind them, including where we can improve as people.

10.  Does he/she protect you?

When you're not on your A game, do they help to guide you?  Does the person remind you of your hurts so that you don't repeat them?  Do they help you pivot your thoughts to those that are empowering versus damaging to your being?  Do they protect you?  From the world, but mostly from yourself?

11.  Does he/she have unwavering trust in you?

Life is too finite to live it with people who don't trust and believe in you.  We have an obligation to be honest and unfiltered first.  We must own who we are, flaws and all, before we can trust in another.  We must see the beauty in imperfection within ourselves before we can trust it in another.  Once we get this lesson, it's so much easier to sort the people in our lives who trust in us.

12.  Does he/she always have a hopeful attitude?

Are they a positive in your life?  Do they help you to pivot your thoughts away from what some term "evil" which is basically any negative thought that defeats all your glory?  This is where trusting themselves comes in.  If one can trust, it's much easier to be hopeful.  Hope of better days is what gets us going in the darkness of life.  Dark doesn't like light in biblical terms.  Things can't grow in the darkness until they've adapted to do so for millions if not billions of years of evolution.  We're homosapians, not miracle workers.  We grow and thrive in the light.  Hope is light.

13.  Does he/she work to preserve you?

Again, are the people in your life looking out for your greater good?  Do they actually do the work and say the words that preserve what's right and good about you?  Your work ethic.  Your being.  Your example to the world.  Are they for you or are they against you?  Don't settle for anything less than someone who can see right through you and still believe in your highest good.  Someone who treasures what you bring to the table of their life.  Someone who inspires you to save yourself because again, we cannot fix each other.  We just simply get to be part of their toolbox and blueprint going forward.  Know the difference.  God/The Universe help people to fix themselves.  Not us.  Yes, I'm being repetitive.  That's how we learn.  Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2015 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.    

Dare to Jump - Navigating the "Perfect Storm"

Earlier this month I mentioned that I would cover an episode of transcendence. I've said before that when I started making Knowing public via this blog that I was doing so pass along the beneficial knowledge of life, to be able to help others.  I never "knew" or thought that it would evolve into what it's morphing into today.  A day to day life of nudges, downloads and occasional visits from entities who have once incarnated here and since gone home to the other side.  I still don't get it or understand it all and I doubt I ever will.  I don't think that's the point however.  As much as we humans love to know answers, I think some answers won't come until we close our eyes that one last time and make the leap ourselves back into full spirit form.  I think the point of these changes in my own journey is to simply hold my attention (short attention span theater say what) long enough to keep me on my toes.  All kidding aside, it takes a lot of removing one's own ego to TRUST what one is receiving for another.  To have the courage to open one's mouth and reach.  I experienced my hardest reach yet and I wanted to share it with you here in hopes that the next time you're on your own self inflicted fence, that you'll act and get out of your own way as I did that fateful night.

What happened was that I found myself in another state and another town "playing team" for an old friend.  Live music at a venue I'd always wanted to get to for other events but that never manifested due to other situations taking the wheel of life.  Even my friend of 19 years who was performing was an important part of what occurred that evening.  Today as I pen this blog, she's performing in New York on their largest bill yet, KROCKATHON.  I was supposed to be at their EP Release in Baltimore at Otto Bar the week after the Baltimore riots and that didn't manifest either due to health issues on my end so this show on June 12th was important in many ways.  The venue.  The artist.  The getting to say congratulations, this EP is magnificent in person talk.  Little did I know just how all be design it really was.  I'd even invited friends to attend with me.  Friends who couldn't come or who had to back out at the last moment, leaving me flying solo with my friend, her band, other patrons and my own thoughts and the nudges that would come later as the evening progressed.  Even her merchandise volunteer didn't show up, which put me in that area for a while and allowed me to fulfill that little need for them while they performed their set.  

After their performance, I went to watch the next artist, someone new to me whom I was "pulled" towards by Spirit from the moment they walked in the room for sound check.  Not the "who are you" pull but the "pay attention Nita and listen" pull.  My friend was so excited to see this artist live but she couldn't leave her band duties to go up there so I gladly volunteered and went up to take photos for both of us and see what this "pull" was all about.  Standing there is when I first felt him, someone present from over there.  Someone really strong and really persistent.  I tried to ignore him.  I was enjoying the music, even singing along to songs "as if I knew them" which to this day, I can't really explain.  The energy was incredibly intense. So intense as time passed that it became unbearable.  I had to get back, to get away from where it was directing me.

I returned to the "safety" of the merchandise table and my friend, visibly shaken and a bit wigged out.  I told her what was happening, for I trust her and know she won't make fun of me or judge me on these things I can't explain.  I told her what I was receiving and she turned white and almost started crying, saying, "You don't know, do you?"  "Know what girly?" "........." (what she shared, that I'm holding privately for this blog).  No, I didn't.  Immediately I wanted to throw up.  She told me that she and this artist were Facebook friends and that's how she knew.  She was so shaken she needed a drink and couldn't walk to the bar to get it and I was so shaken I wanted to leave as fast as humanly possible.  I also "knew" that I needed to in some way push myself past my "stranger danger" zone and tell this person I did not know what was happening.  I was terrified.  

I found myself making a very difficult decision.  Next thing I know, they're tearing down their merchandise table and packing up and the person in question is standing next to me, taking on that table to connect with their new fans.  What to do?  What to do?  What to do Nita?  I pulled out my notepad for work and flipped it over and started writing, hand shaking.  Upon finishing the same, I walked over and gave it to him, apologizing that I had to leave, and instructing him not to read it until he left the venue.  I then bolted.  I didn't even get to say goodbye to my friend.  I sat in my car for about a half hour trying to get my energy under control enough to leave, telling the energy on the other side to let off enough to let me do what I needed to do to get home.

I went home and that energy stayed with me all weekend.  We talked some (that energy and I) and I promised to leave a door open.  Within 3 days, I was awoken just before 3am by that energy, to then hear my phone notifications going off.  There he was, that artist, reaching back.  There I was, wide awake, responding.  Time would pass and exchanges would happen.  I then understood.  I got out of my own way, my own fears, my own self inflicted boundaries and "made the jump."  I'm not sure if I would ever do so without a mutual friend (virtual or otherwise) there to build a bridge of encouragement, but I'm grateful that I did so this one time on a warm summer night in June of 2015.  

Not only have I met someone that's part of the extended tribe now (thanks Thomas and David, you're both making me smile big between this one and the last one), I've discovered another rare God given talented artist that's come here to heal and change lives with their gifts.  Someone who needed me in their path that night as much as I needed that exercise in trusting and letting go.  The music is just a blissful bonus that's "here by design" to enjoy and make me smile.

I'm sharing this story because I want you to know what's possible.  To know that your nudges and inspired thoughts are there for a reason. TRUST THEM.  PLEASE.  Listen to them and act upon them.  Don't question the why, how or what.  Just act.  The Universe is doing its thing and we're just all a part of it all on this spinning place we call home (for now).  I know I've said this a few dozen times over, but our inspired actions change lives.  We might not get to see it, but know it's true.  Just consider it a blessing when someone allows you to see a glimpse of what comes from it after the fact.  We're all pulled towards people, places, things and opportunities.  We just sometimes get so caught up in what "we want" that we don't listen to what "the Universe wants."  I've come to think that when we do we're really just following our own intentions and manifestations, as well as being tools used in other people's intentions and manifestations.  

One thing I've learned since losing Thomas is that we must trust the "pulls" in life.  That when we recognize another from "beyond here" that there's work to do.  God/the Universe is good, all the time.  Listen.  Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2015 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.      

Removing the Mask

In the midst of mourning Thomas, the Holidays and the New Year, many awe inspiring moments happened. Before delving into the most magical of all moments thus far that happened this past week, here's a bullet list of sorts of what has been rocking my world lately.

• Thomas Grant IV making appearances from the other side by way of moved objects and documented orbs
• Another entity from the other side making repeated appearances seeking a connection to someone they care for (basically continually nudging on me to reach out but having zero here and now knowledge as to why until after the fact)
• Getting "downloads" of information about people I know and having that information validated within hours to days versus months or years as was prior in these experiences
• Various visual and auditory phenomenon 

To say it's been a wild ride would be a serious understatement.  Being open is one thing in life.  Being open and having a slew of things come in at once and turn life up a notch is entirely another.  Now that you have an understanding as to what's been going on with that side of my life, you can better appreciate what came next.

A phone call.  An overdue catching up with a dear friend I've shared with you before. Someone I've had the pleasure to get to know better the past few years from my soccer and school girl days.  Someone I've watched blossom from afar and transform their life from existing and self medicating to full force let your light shine living.  The woman she was on that call this week created a reaction in me that I truly didn't see coming.  I was smiling from ear to ear listening, eyes welled up with joy and tears of love and relief flowing.  

My friend has removed the mask and behind it is one of the most humble, ego free, love one another and be a light to others people I've ever met.  In fact, the light within her that's expanding is doing so in such a way that I believe this entire transformation is modifying the trajectory of her life.  There was a peacefulness in her being that was undeniable.  Her words and thoughts flowed from her higher self.  It was without a doubt the most impactful moment in my life that can be connected to this blog.  You see, it was this part of my life that connected us to begin with.  Without Knowing, there wouldn't of been the friendship.

What did I learn from that call?  What rocked my world so hard?  Two things:  Reciprocation does exist and affirmation.  

Affirmation that I know what I know and I don't need to be weary of it or disregarding of it.  I don't even have to label it.  It just is.  I'm not a medium.  I'm not a psychic.  I'm not a fortune teller.  What I am is a highly tuned in metaphysical misfit who is an intuitive channel of information for others.  By crossing the abyss and acting on inspired thoughts, a chain of events happened that eventually changed her life forever.  I knew as soon as I hung up the phone that I simply don't need to pay any more energy to thoughts of wondering what others may or may not think of these things I "know" but can't explain how I know them.  Those days are over and they are behind me.  The next chapter is here and I'm accepting it for what it is, even if each day it blows my mind just a little bit more.

Her call reminded me that what we pour into others is in turn is poured into us.  My friend, one of my most vocal Knowing (The Blog) cheerleaders (why aren't you doing something more with this, public speaking, YouTube, coaching, seminars, etc.) whom I gave every bit of my own light these past few years reflected it right back onto me from her evolved self.  What started as a phone call from her for help and a compassionate ear so long ago has now birthed itself into something far greater than either of us could ever have imagined.  

My friend is affirmation that people can do hard things.  That we can face our darkest moments and decide to shine anyway.  That we're human and fallible.  That within that fallibility there is beauty, grace and hope. Thank you for taking off your mask sweet girl. You didn't know it at the time, but your very transformation and evolution removed mine too.  I love you.

Copyright ©2014 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

In The Driver's Seat - Making Right Choices

Interesting what a month plus of daily meditation and yoga will do for the soul.  Back in May I started this venture, to actively be mindful each day, to have focus over my thoughts verses my thoughts just racing as they like to do for all of us if we let them.  The average person has 70,000 thoughts a day.  Everything from what's for breakfast to what we're going to wear.  70,000!!!  Most of which we allow to be on auto-pilot.  

Nothing wrong with racing per say, sometimes racing can be good.  The racing of positive thoughts builds an environment wherein a vibration is created that expands additional good feelings.  As with all things in the Universe however, in all things of like attract like, racing with panicky, obsessive, stressful, or doubtful thoughts does the exact same thing.  It creates a vibration that expands into additional bad feelings and eventually those bad feelings expand into a greater life experience of those negative emotions.

Those of us who leave up to fate what unfolds into our lives aren't getting it.  Our thoughts and energies are what create our experience here.  We are the ones behind the wheel driving the journey.  Some people we meet along the road hitch a ride for a short distance.  We pick them up into our lives and we drop them off.  Others we sometimes grow so comfortable with as they ride along, we sometimes allow them to take over the drive.  This can be a dicey decision in that very few others we'll meet will respect the direction and course we've set out upon enough to follow along the same path.  In fact, the more positive a direction you're headed in, the more peaceful you become in your evolution of self, the more it will seem as if your companions on the ride (life) will question or attempt to inhibit your progress.

Why is that?  Why is it that you can decide to be in a healthy and positive place yet someone you love and trust can assert that you're anything but?  Why is it that the sky can be blue and sunny but someone out there will complain about what it isn't instead of giving gratitude to what it is?  These character issues, they have nothing to do with you and your path.  When you are in peace, happiness and gratitude living, fact is, some people just can't handle it.  Others only see what they allow themselves to see.  Perception is like that, you either see what you want or what you don't want.  Either way, it's on course to meet you where you are.  Either way, the problem is with them and not with you.

Here's an example of what I'm saying, if we act in life from what we don't want i.e. I worry about someone I love being homeless or making wrong choices for their life, because I don't want them to suffer, my intentions for them are coming from a place of the unwanted.  The Universe doesn't know the difference, it doesn't know that I don't want the person to suffer.  All it knows is that I'm thinking about the person suffering.

On the flip side, if I think about what I want for the person from a place of serenity and trust, if I learn to map it out in a way that's positive and that feels good, I in turn will feel good and by default attract that positiveness into my life.  So, in the case of the person I fear suffering, I turn the fear off and feel love.  Love that the person is alive, that the person is experiencing life and learning valuable lessons that will one day create a well rounded person who knows what they want in life.  By doing this I feel good and am in control of the drive.  See how that works?

So yes, thoughts do become people, places, opportunities and things.  Good, bad or indifferent, it's just law. You're in the driver's seat of life and you get to decide each moment you're awake the environment you travel in and who's along for the ride.  Take the scenic route and travel in good company when you can.  Trust me, it makes for a more enjoyable journey.  

Copyright ©2013 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Floating with the Current

Been pondering this for sometime now and I wanted to share it with all of you.  There is someone in my life who's reached out lately, someone who in the past has hurt me repeatedly, the last time of which created a serious distance between us.  Someone I don't trust, even though I love the person with every fiber of my being.  This person isn't as experienced as I am with life but they do know right from wrong.  It's been difficult for me to act in love and receive this person back into my life knowing what I know now about them.  While I hope their intentions are pure, my instincts are at odds.  So, it's been an emotional quandary of sorts.  Do I continue to let them in?  Do I let them in but have my guard up?  Do I even bother anymore trying to help them navigate their path in life?  Do I allow them in cautiously but nonetheless allow them in?    

Intention, what we want from the Universe, we have to FEEL it.  If I want this person to continue to be a part of my life, I know I can't have an underpinning of doubt about their place in it.  That doubt is a feeling and that feeling will manifest itself.  I've been watching it already happen.  One day we're making strides and the next day it's same ol', same ol' situation.  It's tough.  

I know I can't control what another person says, does or becomes in life but I do have control over how I personalize or receive their actions in the world.  I can decide if I'm being manipulated or really missed.  I can decide to have a wall or not have a wall up in dealing with them too.  All that I've learned about intention though says you can't want A while thinking about B because then A & B are at odds and in the end, you'll never end up with what you wanted with the A scenario or feeling.  Darn perfect thing that intention is.

So, here I am floating with the current of life being extremely mindful of what I'm feeling.  Each time I feel as if I'm being used to fill a void or get something, I pivot that feeling to open my heart and feel love.  Each time I'm told a lie, I remember to pivot it so that I don't take it personally.  Lying is what this person does, until they decide that they're not going to do it.  Other people's bad behaviors aren't about us, they're about them.  Really, it's as simple as that.

You see, I've learned that if I'm going to get a negative it's not going to be because I manifested it by feeling it.  If I get a negative it's on the one giving it, not on me.  I can at this juncture hope for the best, all the while protecting myself and those I love.  I can build a bridge and care.  I can allow this person to show me they're making a better path for their journey.  The person already has a pretty good map.  Now all they need to do is follow the directions.  In the meanwhile, I'll be available for advice should the need to ask for directions when they get lost.  Grateful that I'm smart enough to not be a backseat driver on their journey too.  This life, they have to drive it on their own.

Copyright ©2013 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

Acceptance: Letting Go of the Need to Change Others

As of late I have had various conversations with friends revolving around acceptance of the fact that we cannot change other people.  Within the majority of the population is a desire to do right, to nurture, to be compassionate and to evolve into our best and highest self.  For some it is a simple as providing for ones family (blood, friends, four legged or otherwise), for others it may be a call of action to change their food supply, their country or the world through education and service to others.  No matter what our life calling is, we each have within us a spark of belonging and we each have within us the potential to shine.

Why is it then that so many of the good spirits of the world get caught up in trying to fix others, to appease them, or to change them?  Why is it so hard for many to accept that their path is theirs alone and that while we can inspire and lead others we surely cannot be the acting factor in another person's change?  I have my suspicions regarding these things.  I believe it all comes down to fear and acceptance.   

Some of my friends are stuck in this way of thinking out of fear.  They simply do not want to believe that the other person has willfully decided to be what they are.  They want to be their light, their motivating factor to change.  Far too many of us get stuck in the cycle of complaining and enduring another persons behaviors simply because of what we believe they can be.  There is an underlying wrestling from within to let go of the expectations they have for the other person.  They fear that if they do so that, that if they accept and just let that person live their life without meddling, they are in turn giving up on that person.  This could not be further from the truth. 

Letting go of our expectations for another persons evolution of self has nothing to do with their success at the same.  We can be there for those we love and not enable them, let alone lose ourselves in them.  Simply put, their will has nothing to do with how brightly our own lights shine upon them.  Their will is theirs and theirs alone.

A few of my friends wrestle with trying to get others to understand their own more evolved thoughts and decision making patterns.  They simply want the other people to see it like they see it, to understand their way of thinking.  They get so frustrated that those whom they wish to share their lives with are on what I term "the wrong playing field involved in another game of life." 

Again, we cannot control the people in our lives.  It is a fruitless waste of our energies to fret over what they are doing (or not doing) in their own journeys.  We can only accept where they are, who they are and go about the business of living our own lives as best we see fit.  It is their path to navigate and transcend just as your path is uniquely yours to do the same.

Really, all of life boils down to acceptance.  We all desire to be accepted for who we are, not where we have been or the promise of where we may go.  We all wish to be acknowledged and cherished for that which is uniquely our own.  I promise you this, the best decision you'll ever make in life is to accept and let go of that which you cannot control.  Life is just too beautiful, precious and fleeting to waste time playing the game of trying to change others.  Trust me, it will not happen. 

The power to change never was yours to give them in the first place you see, it was always their own doing to discover and act upon.  The sooner you get this fact, the sooner you will procure contentment and happiness in your own journey.  In the end, the only people we have control over is ourselves.  Remember that.  I love you.

Copyright ©2012 Nita Clewis
All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.