I've spent the last decade running from spirit on and off, wrestling with that knowing. Challenging the undoing of religious dogma of that knowing. Understanding that we can love God, believe in Jesus, AND ALSO KNOW THAT SPIRIT OF LOVED ONES NUDGING ISN'T EVIL OR THE DEVIL. Understanding that the dogma is Man's doing, not creation's.
In the last decade, I finally told my friend's mom about his nudges after his unexpected passing. She even wrote about it in her book about her journey of loving an addicted son.
I stood up to liars in Maine trying to tell another Mom that I saw Nolan's death before it happened. That's not true. It never was true. I only saw other timelines, ones without addiction. Ones where he was happy and making a Christmas album of Christian music with his daughter.
I walked away from repeat offenders. People/friends who claimed to be doing the work but who actually aren't, stuck in their cycles of destruction and chaotic living.
I leaned to let go, and to remember that the knowing isn't always about this incarnation. That sometimes, it's a glimpse into another. That while it's always right, it's not always correct RIGHT NOW. That people are of their own free will. That people will not always choose what we know needs to happen for them to heal.
That addicts will lie and distance themselves, not taking accountability for their hurts.
That those who do the work, sticking and staying, have the way through. That there's hope in recovery. That a small breathwork group can bring healing after traumatic deaths. That the work of our tribe carries on, even without the dots along the journey that brought us together to begin with.
This year, things are different. They're shifting. They're rebuilding. They're creating. And, I'm here to experience and embrace it all.
Never ignore your downloads and nudges.
Never give up on connecting the dots along the journey to whole and balanced living.
Life can be beautiful when we take risks for the rewards. When we let go and allow expansion beyond what we think* we know.
Thank you to my favorite dots. Thank you for not leaving when your time here this incarnation was done. Thank you for making me a better human because our lives crossed path. Most of all, thank you for setting me free.
The truth was always here. The truth is in the presence. The current moment. The now. The no bullshit acceptance of what's right and what's wrong. The truth, it can set us free, but only IF we believe it and take action on those beliefs.
Remember that. I love you.
xoxo Nita
