Sunday, May 29, 2011

Truth & Consequences

This year has had me on the road to using my voice and finding my truth.  I've shared before how peaceful I became upon standing up to someone in my life and speaking my truth.  I thought at that time the fallout of the same would forever alter my life in a negative way.  My preconception couldn't of been further from the reality of what came to pass.  Even months later I continue to feel the shift from within that was sparked from that one defining moment forward.

So, here I am, continuing to peel back the layers of that truth.  I even allowed the people in my life whom I'd stood up to the chance to share their purported apologies for creating the situations that were at hand at that time.  I am not one to judge or assume another person's journey here.  I have enough going on in my own life to add to the plate these things. 

However, I am here to lead my best life and create it in such a way that I'm not used, victimized, or manipulated.  That would be why I used the word 'purported' just now.  We all know that actions speak far louder than any words we can muster.  In my own personal situation thus far, the words have not developed into actions that support them. Instead it's been more of the 'same old same old' and has served as additional validation for my action taken months ago.

I wanted to share what it is that I've been learning during this process of protection and transcendence.  I've learned that no matter how we treat others, their actions and reactions are their own just as ours are.  I now know that fear really is false evidence appearing real and that letting go of the perceived outcome is where the healing begins.  Even if I believe that I love someone unconditionally, I cannot allow myself or those I care about to be victimized by another person's actions and behaviors.  I've decided that love can change hearts but people change themselves.  I've learned that sometimes in life, our standing up for our truth in turn can sometimes be exactly what the other person needed to be shown the errors of their ways.  I've learned that we're not here to fix each other, we're here to teach each other.  It really is that simple.

Realizing this truth was a serious a-ha moment for me for I'm a fixer by nature, I want to make you feel better and fix you.  Letting go of that goal and false perception has allowed me to refocus that fixing attention to myself.  You see, I've also walked the walk of procrastinator by substitution.  That truth smacked me upside the head a few years ago.

Finally, I've learned that finding your truth, knowing your truth and speaking your truth is a process that doesn't and shouldn't end.  The minute we lack in any of it we create situations in our lives that are not in our best interests and really, we're all living trying to protect and serve our best interests.  Just because you forgive someone in your heart for their transgressions doesn't mean you forget.  It also doesn't mean you don't know your truth anymore and it doesn't mean you stop speaking that truth.  It simply means that you're letting go of the negative side of the experience in favor of the positive knowledge you gained of yourself in the process.  So breathe, learn, know and embrace your truth for everything it's worth.  After all, that worth is you. 

Copyright ©2011 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.
For personal use only. Commercial use without permission is not allowed.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Know Your Worth: You are Priceless

I often wondered who it was who said that "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." Two clicks away and all roads pointed to John Lennon.  Really?  Nah....really?  So I dug a little deeper and learned it was first published in a 1957 Reader's Digest and at that time it was linked to Allen Saunders.  No matter what those are twelve words of truth and it really doesn't matter who said them.  That's just how universal knowledge works. It resonates. It clicks the light on.  It affirms the journey.

Life, it's been an interesting journey to say the least these past few weeks.  Life has definitely been 'happening.' I've been deeply moved watching the resilience of the human spirit in the news as our country's natural disasters tear families and communities apart.  I felt goosebumps listening to strangers huddled together in a freezer in Missouri as a tornado ripped through the store they were in.  In what were thought to be their final moments here, in the darkness, between strangers, there were words of reassurance and love.  Read that again....a show of LOVE between perfect strangers.  Love, the one thing that mattered when all else was disappearing.

My heart has ached watching from afar an old school/neighborhood friend grieve the sudden and unexpected loss of her thirty-four year old brother in an automobile accident.  The first time I watched her grieve in this way we were but young girls in middle school when she lost her mom.  To see her family go through this new and sudden loss unsettled me.  I know that many a family see multiple heartaches in their lifetimes.  I know that there are no words that can really change that newly formed forever hole.  I also know that when such heartache comes that these families need and want nothing but love.

In this specific situation I hadn't seen my friend's brother in person since he was a boy but even then he left a very distinct impression on me.  Back then he was forever making other people laugh.  We'd caught up to each other on Facebook in February 2010.  Since that time I'd caught up to the artist he'd become, the lives he was touching and the life he was building.  Despite the loss in his childhood, despite the hole that was forever there for him and four siblings, he kept on keeping on and he walked his journey in love.  The afternoon before he passed another old high school friend I'd just recently connected with the day before had brought up his name in an exchange of whom do you still keep up with questions as we chatted by phone.  It was actually the first time in months his name came up for he wasn't really active on FB.  To learn Friday afternoon that he'd passed that morning, well, we were both speechless.  Yet another bold reminder of how life happens.  

So I just want to remind you that life is beyond precious and fleeting. Your time here is a gift. The lives you touch and the difference you make is what lives on after you're gone. Make your mark, follow your path, and listen to the universe when it corrects your course. Tomorrow is not promised. Make that call. Extend your smile, your hand, your time. Tell them you love them and make each moment count. Remember that you have a purpose and that purpose is love.  Know your worth, you are priceless to someone. 

Copyright ©2011 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.
For personal use only. Commercial use without permission is not allowed.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

When Family Finds You (Pets Included)

"Friends are God's way of apologizing for your family."  
~ Wayne W. Dyer (The Power of Intention)

I began writing about the way the universe brings people into our lives last year.  This particular blog itself has been a work in progress since that time.  I find it rather amusing that I can construct a blog about my late grandmother Irene over a matter of days but that a blog about family finding us is something I've written, re-written and reviewed time and time again when inspiration came flowing over months

Oh yeah, just so you know, I never write when there isn't a natural flow to it, when it's not coming from through me effortlessly.  That's why my posts are few and far between at times.  In that I write for the simple joy of expression though, I wouldn't have it any other way though.  :)

So here we are, just having celebrated Mother's Day.  If you're alive, you have a mother.  Doesn't mean she fits the bill of the definition of that word but nonetheless, we all have the commonality.  Same with Fathers.  You see, when we come into this world it's sort of like a lottery, you can be born into a family of well adjusted good people, a family of destructive ill living people, or some combination of both.  At that point of the journey it's not a choice. 

What we do with our upbringing or lack thereof as we grow into the world around us and become separated from that which we came from is however, completely ours to choose.  Sadly though, too many people never are shown that there is another way, a better way to live life.  They go through their entire journeys within the confines of the circumstances that made them.  They never even get to make friends that will end up being their 'family' one day.  They fall into their own bad habits, repeat lessons that should have been learned by their parents, and just exist waiting for or even wanting death to come.  I know, I grew up and observed a lot of broken people and their destructive ill living families.  I was fortunate in that my own family for the most part was not this way.  We weren't perfect by any means but it could have been a lot worse than it was.

I firmly believe that those of us who transcend the prior generation's faults tend to create and bring forth into our own lives through our intention people who become our 'family.'  I also believe that the universe has a way of giving you that which you're lacking if you will be open to receiving the same.  This too I've seen happen in my own life.  I've had girlfriends become the sisters I never had, guy friends become brothers I never had, a child become the daughter I never had, women who have filled in the blanks my mother did not contain and men who have done the same for my father.  I've seen pets appear in other people's lives by chance and circumstance, just when the people needed them and just when the people weren't expecting them.

I saw this happen less than two months ago with a dear friend in Florida on Facebook ( networking, what a joy it's been and brought to my life...) as her family was morning the passing of their beloved four legged family member.  Heck, we were all mourning that little dog's passing, even those of us who never met him in person.  He was so awesome he had his own Facebook page.  My friend, she didn't have the intention of bringing in another pet so soon, she didn't even go out looking for one either, but the universe had other plans and her heart flooded open and said yes that weekend.  One of the very first photos of her with the new addition clearly shows her pain filled eyes in that bittersweet moment.  The joy they share now with him was, without a doubt, meant to be.  Of course they're still missing their other four legged family member but the days are by no means void and empty of animal joy.  I still think of their last dog at least once a week myself because his Mamma's posts about him were as much a part of my Facebook status feed as the posts about her other human children!  So yes, the universe always will give you what you need if you are willing to receive it.  Open your eyes, look, family is right there (four legged or otherwise), waiting to find you.     

Copyright ©2011 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.
For personal use only. Commercial use without permission is not allowed.