Thursday, May 3, 2012

Perspective & Peace - We Control Both

I was recently going through the files on an old computer, cleaning off some old ones while adding news ones.  I don't think it's random that I was adding the audio files for The Silva Method program given to me by a colleague who shares my interest in the paranormal when I stumbled upon some eye opening writings of mine from 2007.  Specifically, I found entries from Valentine's Day 2007, three and a half months before my ex's daughter would come to live with her father (us) full-time.  Valentine's Day, the subject of a blog entry this past February regarding surprise gifts from the universe this year.  I just looked back on my life, summarizing my history with the Holiday and here I find myself reading journal entries from that very day five years ago.

Reading my words from that day on the old computer moved me to tears.  It was such a solid affirmation of why I had to make the difficult choices I did end up making later in the journey, including walking away from a child I loved as my own to save my own sanity and my son's.  I was suffering so badly back then, struggling with what I knew I should be doing verses what I was in fact doing.  By not honoring my authentic self I was creating a dark place in my life.  I am still in shock that I was allowing myself to live in the environment I wrote of, experiencing things that changed who I was at that time.  My career and friendships were the only things that were true to who I was.  Everything else though was in turmoil.  I wouldn't wish upon anyone what I was living with.  Believe me, your environment has the power to effect you in good ways and in bad.  If you're verbally abused, it changes who you are, it warps your expectations and your belief of what you're capable of, and it modifies your belief in what you feel that you deserve.  Reading those words was life changing.  Looking back to that day of journal entries has no doubt even forever changed my life from this point forward today.   

I am extremely grateful that I was able to navigate away from what I was living with back then.  How did I get from there to here though?  My thoughts.  I hung onto my faith in the darkness and eventually mustered the personal strength to walk away from that negative and toxic situation.  I was able to do so because, despite the darkness, I continued to reach out to God, to authors and to information that fostered within me the self worth and belief that what I thought did in fact matter.  I decided to think and create the life I longed to have and wanted verses the life I didn't want and was living. 

In my business we say that if you buy someone's opinion that you buy their lifestyle.  The dark times of my life were spent buying someone else's opinion and living that lifestyle was the ultimate price to pay.  Know this, you have within you everything you need to learn to buy your own opinion and create your own lifestyle.  No matter what you've been through up until this moment, as surely as you are breathing right now, there is still hope for a different way of life.      

You see, the life you are living today is directly related to the thoughts you allowed to dominate your life yesterday, last week, last month, and last year.  You can't change the path you have walked through today but you can change where the path leads simply by listening to your thoughts and honoring your authentic self and what it is trying to tell you.  You can do that today, in the here and now.  

You deserve to be whole, to be cherished, to heal, to be loved and to be happy.  If anyone in your life doesn't add to that, including yourself, do something about it.  Life is too precious, short and fleeting to keep hanging on to those who don't honor you and your place in this world.  Life is too magnificent to hold yourself hostage to the past or to believe in negative, limiting and controlling thoughts as well.  The time is now, the place is here and regrets are painful.  Decide today to be in charge of your perspective and claim your peace.  Trust me, it's beautiful.

Copyright ©2012 Nita Clewis
All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.