What can I say about the summation of the past couple of weeks other than, “I’m baaaaaacccckkk!” Back from what might you ask? A stagnate, over analyzed, self-imposed limiting and /or isolating existence. Okay, so that probably just sounded way worse than it was so allow me to explain.
The last three years of my life have been years of transition and transformation. About two years ago, I finally got to the point where I would allow myself to embrace acceptance. I learned that no matter how much I tried to make something work, no matter how much I prayed for it to work, that you have to just accept what is and let go of what isn’t in your life. You cannot force what you have no control over. You have to surrender those things and just go about life trusting well, life.
Once I had engraved these lessons in my being, I was then able to use that acceptance to let go of the things and people I had no control over. As I’ve said before, the past year of the journey has been the daily practice of that.
Since earlier in the year I have been following a new path in my journey. I guess I shouldn’t call it a new path, it really is nothing more than an old path I’d never journeyed on before. A path that finds itself reemerging in my life from time to time. A way of living that has always been available to me but that I have resisted nonetheless…..up until this point of my life.
|Brookgreen Gardens, South Carolina|
You see, I was so stuck on what I wanted verses what was that I out right avoided the path. It has always been there though. Always….but I wouldn’t take the risk. Risks that would undoubtedly lead to rewards. Risks that needed to be taken to grow into all that I am.
So, hear I am, surrendering to what is and trusting in the day to day living of life. The “I’ll ask that question or do that thing when I’m at this point” excuses are gone. The walls I had put up to feel nothing are gone. I choose to enjoy the day-to-day journey. I choose to be mindful and present. If I get a feeling to do something or say something, I follow that feeling without delay. There is no more waiting, no more delays.
The truth is that there aren’t any reasons to not create the existence I desire. Everything before was a creation of believing a different thought pattern, one that wasn’t beneficial to my best life. I decided to change my thoughts so that I could in fact change my life.
So, back to the last couple of weeks. Affirmations of the path have been showing up all over my life. In my friendships, in my family, in my career, with this blog…..they are everywhere. I am in utter awe and without words when these things happen. I have never been one to deny the magic of coincidences along the journey either. I’m used to them and I welcome them but when you get far more than you’re used to you tend to take notice of that too. Affirmations, coincidences, and an inability to articulate. Oh yeah, fun ride for sure.
Things, places, opportunities, people just showing up and more often than not without rhyme or reason. A couple of weeks ago when I finalized my thoughts on surrender I stumbled upon my emails to friends regarding the Tao book I spoke of. There it was, in black and white, my trying to reach out and share. This is just the most recent affirmation. Other earlier ones are so deep I can’t even articulate them here. I wish I could. I do know that I am grateful beyond measure though. I am grateful for the peace to actively let go. I’m grateful for the affirmations, for that knowing that you can’t explain.
All I can ask is that you take these words and commence action in your own life. All I can ask is that in hearing my own struggle that you find the will to keep fighting yours. I want you to know what this feels like and I want you to know that you are so worth the fight. Accept what is. Become present. Choose gratitude and let the rest go. I promise, it will be one of your best days ever. Trust your path. It’s there just for you.
Copyright ©2011 Nita Clewis
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