Thursday, January 23, 2014

Following One's Way - The Philosopher

Image courtesy of Joy Lorien, taken on Skyline Drive (Dave loved the beauty of it.)
"I am a guy who has spent his whole life trying to understand why I am here and what it is I am supposed to do.  I love to have philosophical dialogue and to laugh.  I have had difficulties with all sorts of things but expressing myself through the English language is not one of them.  I also love to tell Stories.
 Therefore, I am a writer." 
- Socrates H. Dillinger 

The first time I saw David Trefry aka "Socrates H. Dillinger," he was on a skateboard in a cul de sac in Newington Forest hanging out with his tribe of brothers.  Friendships that span over 35 years today.  I'd recently moved to Lorton with my mom into the neighboring subdivision. Between my community and his there were woods and bike trails connecting them.  While we attended separate elementary schools, we did attend the same middle school through graduation.  At Hayfield Secondary he graduated in 1992, a year ahead of my class.  The class of 1992 was extremely close for 300+ graduating students.  To this day, they each continue to be instrumental in each others lives in the same circles that they traveled during their high school years.  Their experiences have netted some beautiful life long relationships.  

Dave, #27 (his birthday), he was so adamant to have that number, bottom right
As we both entered high school, the only thing that connected us was our overlapping circle of friends. As adults we enjoyed our shared memories of the self built skate ramps off the wooded trails, summer days and nights at a place called Big Rock, and the late summer nights roaming the neighborhoods from one's friend home to another.  

"The Universe" aka "The
Deri & Dave
Universal," as Tref loved to call it, had been good to him there. Growing up in Newington was a pretty idyllic childhood for suburban America.  I'm grateful to have called it home (thanks Mom!).  Our communities were made for families and rambunctious groups of kids.  We had acres of woods and trails to explore, playgrounds, and miles of sidewalks and pavement to ride on.  Certain kids (wink, wink) were even known to scale Newington Forest Elementary School's roof and flagpole.  Doing those and many other things that now as parents we turn green just thinking about our own kids doing.  Oh yes, the many adventures of the Newington Knights of the Forest.

Tref and his tribe on the metro, 4th of July, 1990. 
Tref grew up inciting many a laugh with his friends, most of which will gather to celebrate his life this week. The stories I have heard over the years from them (and himself) are told with such large smiles, belly laughs and happy voices.  How great it is to be able to say that you shared that part of your life with him. While he has left us here to continue our work, we at least know he's in good company with a fellow Hawk who passed just over a year ago. They were able to reconnect and catch up with each other for a time before she left us.  They enjoyed their memories of being each other's first loves.  When he attended Rebekah's funeral, he told me that he was going to smile because it's what she would want him to do.  Are you listening my fellow Hawks?  In the pain of losing him, we too have to follow his lead and smile.  It is what he would want us to do.

Strayer, Tref, Scott & Bryce

As for the the post high-school Tref, he weaved in and out of my life through the years.  We'd run into each other at local haunts such as Bennigan's as well as at various friend's home, and at concerts and festivals.  Ah yes, to be in one's early twenties again.  We were all so lucky to be in the DC area at that time.  Music was as large a passion for him as writing. He could talk forever and a day about both subjects and never have the same discussion twice.  It's part of what was so beautiful about him, the way his mind worked and the words formulated.  It was actually our shared loved of words that would eventually be the foundation of our friendship.

Facebook and my own prior writing here opened a dialogue for us to connect at a different level and to share our collective ideas about consciousness, life and being.  Anyone who knew Tref has shared in a philosophical conversation with him.  It's just who he was, absorbing as much information as he could about life, evolution of self and being.  Then his neverending quest was to try and quantify it all as quickly as time would allow.  He was always one for getting to the heart and truth of things NOW.  There simply was no time to waste. 
Anyone who is artistic in their expressions understands that we aren't necessarily the easiest people to ascertain at times.  We are passionate and deeply committed to that which we are called to express.  So much so that we can be rather intense people at times.   That wasn't the case though with Tref.  He had no problem articulating what he was thinking, feeling and experiencing.  He loved sharing all of it with anyone who could keep up to his evolving thoughts.  

Once he joined Facebook (and later left), our conversations never really ceased.  There was always something to mull over, discuss and share from the tempo of life.  Add to those conversations our shared love of music, and well, our friendship was a gift these last three years.  When he wanted to start blogging, I shared everything I knew from my own learning curve.  When I was excited about something that flowed through me via written channeling, he was always there to give feedback and discussion on it.  When writers block struck, he'd reach out for resolutionary tips.  When I was rebuilding my life and creating a new existence, he was always there with an encouraging or kind word reminding me of who he saw.  In essence, he was a part of my healing and I will always be grateful for that.

Best of all, he always shared truth. The truth was of the utmost importance to him.  He said, "I am not one for shallow, superficial talk.  I see only to get to the actual nature of things.  TRUTH. The problem is that, once you break through the illusion, there is no going back."   What in the end became of our friendship was a beautiful exchange of knowledge, wisdom, inspiration and TRUTH.  It is as if we were both teaching each other as we went along.  The lessons were priceless.

Tref had a wonderful way of reminding you who you really were, of making sure you understood just how special your place in this world was.  He said, "We are all beautiful, we just have to believe it."  He loved every single person who touched his life.  He never lacked gratitude for the knowledge that was given to him from The Universe either.  Even as he struggled with his health this summer and upcoming operation this winter, he saw himself as one of "God's Warriors."  He did his best to stay positive given the same and continued to try and be a part of Knowing simply by being a conduit of information to me when he could.

In fact, the last book recommendation from me to him by way of Inspired Thought was on the topic of the soul, of our eternal validity. This was just before his surgery.  Tref never stopped looking for why he was here and what he was supposed to do.  I believe I know why he was here and I hope that those of you who knew and loved him would agree.  He was here to make us laugh and to make us think. He was here to give us the memories we hold near and dear.  He was here to share the truths (Universal Knowledge) he was awakened to and he was here to remind us of why every single precious moment counts. Thank you Tref.  I'm still listening my friend.  We love you.

Bill (brother), Patricia (mom), and Dave
"A friend is a second self." 
- Aristotle 

Copyright ©2014 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.  For personal use only.  Commercial use without permission of the author is not allowed.  Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.

1 comment:

  1. Nita - I haven't met you yet, but look forward to knowing the woman who knew my son well enough to write so eloquently about his life. Your words are very special to me and I thank you. I am sorely missing Dave, we talked so much the last few months, I like to think we finally found some common ground and I hope he died knowing how much he was loved. I have spent a great deal of the past few days going through pictures, it's the ones of the "tribe" that really tear at my heart and reading your blog helps to exlain it all. Thank you again - see you later - Dave's Mom