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| The day I held as a vision that finally came to pass. My son being reunited with his big sister. |
It
never ceases to amaze me as to how much we grow during hardships and how
resilient we truly are when facing adversity.
At approximately this time last year, my life was torn apart. Despite its circumstances, I still had to
suck it up and go about the business of living.
I still had to be a parent to my child, build a business in an economy
full of hardships, and keep the faith, hope and core being of who I was intact. I was facing the circumstances that tore me
apart because of one simple thing…. I was choosing to use my voice.
March
5, 2012, it all changed. It was a chilly
Monday morning with cars covered in snow.
I even took a picture of the side porch and back yard with its last bit
of winter. Ha! Winter! What’s that? Fall and winter 2011/2012 were abnormally
warm and trust me, for someone who hates the cold, well received. Mondays, wouldn’t you know it….I have been
affirming Mondays for months. When you
love your work, greeting it on a Monday is not a big deal. My Mondays as of late are filled with
fun. I host a luncheon in my town where
I present my company’s services and opportunity, participate in training with
our international team and set the pace of the week ahead for my business. Monday, March 5th would be different
though. I participated in all of my
normal Monday activities but this Monday, this would be the day it all came
full circle.
A
little background on that day for it had its share of trials and tribulations. It was definitely a day in the making. In the spring of 2011, I wrote and published
some content about using one’s voice, about transcending the fall out of the
same, about sticking to your guns and being who you are no matter what. I was really struggling then to stand in who
I was against someone who hated every fiber of my being and what I was standing
for. I knew what I was doing was right
though. So much so that I had to find
peace with the threat of having someone I love taken away from me, someone
innocent in that struggle.
I
knew I did not have control over another person’s actions. I also knew that I did have control over
mine. Sometimes we do things in life we
do not want to do because we know it is the right thing to do. Sometimes we just have to do the right thing
over the easy or passive thing. There
was collateral damage for using my voice in the spring of 2011, for standing in
my authority, and for loving unconditionally.
That collateral damage was my stepdaughter, or as I tell her, my daughter from
the universe whom I had mothered and loved since she was a little girl over a
decade ago.
Summer
2011 would be the last time I spoke to her and saw her because of those circumstances
beyond our control. Mother’s Day weekend
2011 would be the last time my son spoke to her or saw her too. A moment of anger, mixed with a moment of
rebellion and continuing crashing of ideals between adults and there was no
hope of anything different at that time.
We all paid the price from that point forward. It was then that I had to fight to let go and
really trust in the process of life. I
had to know that it was not in vain and the loss and pain my family was going
through would not be the end of this chapter.
I accepted what was but I did not lose hope and I never, ever quit. Yes, I accepted but I did not passively roll
over and relent.
Through
the months that passed, I learned each day just how strong I am. I learned how to seek comfort, to seek help,
and to receive another person’s grace in my life. I learned to listen to the whispers of the
Universe. I learned to act on those
whispers as well. July 1, 2011 through
March 5, 2012, I kept the faith, no matter what happened in our lives. I always believed and I acted daily as if
those beliefs already were. I processed
often my son’s words of missing her. I
talked about her and thought of her daily.
I truly mourned her not being in our lives. We all did.
Then
it happened, a comment from a friend and colleague (read: inspired thought in action), a stepping out of
my comfort zone, and a swift and sweeping move of fate that was no doubt in my
mind, a miracle. Four days before March
5, I took a risk as I followed up with my preexisting persistence. Four days, that is how quickly life can turn
around and leave you in awe. The dots
connected and life unfolded. What
happened after I’d checked up on her at school that
Thursday prior? (I told you I didn’t quit.)
My
phone rang and it was my stepdaughter.
The tears flowed, words healed and the truths that were hidden from her
were revealed. Thirty minutes later, I
was to meet a new colleague and give a presentation. How I pulled that off is still beyond me for
my head was racing given the sudden change of events transpiring. All I could even say on Facebook was “Wow…is
this really happening?” Here I am, weeks
later still trying to absorb it all, grateful beyond words at what has
occurred. I cannot even begin to tell
you of the joy in my heart, of seeing this miracle happen. We suffered, we endured, and in the end, we
were restored above and beyond what we were before it all happened.
How
awesome is that? Do you get that? I mean, if it can happen for me, it sure as
heck can happen for you. Why not? We are no different, you and I. Use your voice. Do not quit.
Stand up in who you are and for what you believe in. Do not fear.
Life still has a few surprises in store for you!
Copyright ©2012 Nita Clewis
All rights reserved. For personal use only. Commercial use without permission is not allowed. Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.
Copyright ©2012 Nita Clewis
All rights reserved. For personal use only. Commercial use without permission is not allowed. Sharing with friends and family is warmly welcomed.
