Sunday, May 29, 2011

Truth & Consequences

This year has had me on the road to using my voice and finding my truth.  I've shared before how peaceful I became upon standing up to someone in my life and speaking my truth.  I thought at that time the fallout of the same would forever alter my life in a negative way.  My preconception couldn't of been further from the reality of what came to pass.  Even months later I continue to feel the shift from within that was sparked from that one defining moment forward.

So, here I am, continuing to peel back the layers of that truth.  I even allowed the people in my life whom I'd stood up to the chance to share their purported apologies for creating the situations that were at hand at that time.  I am not one to judge or assume another person's journey here.  I have enough going on in my own life to add to the plate these things. 

However, I am here to lead my best life and create it in such a way that I'm not used, victimized, or manipulated.  That would be why I used the word 'purported' just now.  We all know that actions speak far louder than any words we can muster.  In my own personal situation thus far, the words have not developed into actions that support them. Instead it's been more of the 'same old same old' and has served as additional validation for my action taken months ago.

I wanted to share what it is that I've been learning during this process of protection and transcendence.  I've learned that no matter how we treat others, their actions and reactions are their own just as ours are.  I now know that fear really is false evidence appearing real and that letting go of the perceived outcome is where the healing begins.  Even if I believe that I love someone unconditionally, I cannot allow myself or those I care about to be victimized by another person's actions and behaviors.  I've decided that love can change hearts but people change themselves.  I've learned that sometimes in life, our standing up for our truth in turn can sometimes be exactly what the other person needed to be shown the errors of their ways.  I've learned that we're not here to fix each other, we're here to teach each other.  It really is that simple.

Realizing this truth was a serious a-ha moment for me for I'm a fixer by nature, I want to make you feel better and fix you.  Letting go of that goal and false perception has allowed me to refocus that fixing attention to myself.  You see, I've also walked the walk of procrastinator by substitution.  That truth smacked me upside the head a few years ago.

Finally, I've learned that finding your truth, knowing your truth and speaking your truth is a process that doesn't and shouldn't end.  The minute we lack in any of it we create situations in our lives that are not in our best interests and really, we're all living trying to protect and serve our best interests.  Just because you forgive someone in your heart for their transgressions doesn't mean you forget.  It also doesn't mean you don't know your truth anymore and it doesn't mean you stop speaking that truth.  It simply means that you're letting go of the negative side of the experience in favor of the positive knowledge you gained of yourself in the process.  So breathe, learn, know and embrace your truth for everything it's worth.  After all, that worth is you. 

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