As time has passed and I've grown into this next chapter of life that I didn't document for this community, I've come to a place of acceptance that my expectations for what I expected of myself the last decade at Knowing and what birthed from the same are bigger than you or I.
Long before Knowing and Whole & Balanced Living, I was keeping a private blog with link only access. A blog I've been recently instructed to return to for review, as I do the sacred work of healing trauma around my father's passing Christmas Day, 2020.
Before I had the name for the 5 Claires life. Before I had the name for Lipedema, the genetic mess I deal with and have been dealing with since puberty. Before I knew that spirit and all that is or ever will be for us humans affirmed that we never really die. Before I reclaimed my worth and unapologetically started following my pulls, downloads and nudges.
With ownership of all of the above comes vulnerability. Allowing people in who know, who see the shift in my energies and eyes when I'm not at the wheel, an exercise in trust.
Nothing hurt more over the years that having someone you love and trusted, embraced, who supposedly accepted it all, turn and run from it all. When someone who's all in starts questioning and calling you crazy. When they're injecting dark beliefs and dark thoughts into the light.
My softer side really wishes things could be as they were with that person, versus fear and mental health struggles taking them away from what we were building that was bigger than either of us. I even still pray and send this person reiki love, protection and healing energies.
Nonetheless, as I heal what happened the last few years that I had no control over, I am remembering who I was and who I am today, beyond the limiting thoughts or belief systems came to rest in my being here and there along the journey.
I'm grateful for what today holds. For the light in the darkness. For the knowing. For the 5 Claires life. For having a vision, purpose and calling.
Most of all, I'm grateful for my dots along the journey that have brought wisdom, passion, and love into my life. I love my tribe and my life by design people.