Knowing (The Blog): July 2015

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Dare to Jump - Navigating the "Perfect Storm"

Earlier this month I mentioned that I would cover an episode of transcendence. I've said before that when I started making Knowing public via this blog that I was doing so pass along the beneficial knowledge of life, to be able to help others. I never "knew" or thought that it would evolve into what it's morphing into today. A day to day life of nudges, downloads and occasional visits from entities who have once incarnated here and since gone home to the other side. I still don't get it or understand it all and I doubt I ever will. I don't think that's the point however. As much as we humans love to know answers, I think some answers won't come until we close our eyes that one last time and make the leap ourselves back into full spirit form. I think the point of these changes in my own journey is to simply hold my attention (short attention span theater say what) long enough to keep me on my toes. All kidding aside, it takes a lot of removing one's own ego to TRUST what one is receiving for another. To have the courage to open one's mouth and reach. I experienced my hardest reach yet and I wanted to share it with you here in hopes that the next time you're on your own self inflicted fence, that you'll act and get out of your own way as I did that fateful night.

What happened was that I found myself in another state and another town "playing team" for an old friend. Live music at a venue I'd always wanted to get to for other events but that never manifested due to other situations taking the wheel of life. Even my friend of 19 years who was performing was an important part of what occurred that evening. Today as I pen this blog, she's performing in New York on their largest bill yet, KROCKATHON. I was supposed to be at their EP Release in Baltimore at Otto Bar the week after the Baltimore riots and that didn't manifest either due to health issues on my end so this show on June 12th was important in many ways. The venue. The artist. The getting to say congratulations, this EP is magnificent in person talk. Little did I know just how all be design it really was. I'd even invited friends to attend with me. Friends who couldn't come or who had to back out at the last moment, leaving me flying solo with my friend, her band, other patrons and my own thoughts and the nudges that would come later as the evening progressed. Even her merchandise volunteer didn't show up, which put me in that area for a while and allowed me to fulfill that little need for them while they performed their set.

After their performance, I went to watch the next artist, someone new to me whom I was "pulled" towards by Spirit from the moment they walked in the room for sound check. Not the "who are you" pull but the "pay attention Nita and listen" pull. My friend was so excited to see this artist live but she couldn't leave her band duties to go up there so I gladly volunteered and went up to take photos for both of us and see what this "pull" was all about. Standing there is when I first felt him, someone present from over there. Someone really strong and really persistent. I tried to ignore him. I was enjoying the music, even singing along to songs "as if I knew them" which to this day, I can't really explain. The energy was incredibly intense. So intense as time passed that it became unbearable. I had to get back, to get away from where it was directing me.

I returned to the "safety" of the merchandise table and my friend, visibly shaken and a bit wigged out. I told her what was happening, for I trust her and know she won't make fun of me or judge me on these things I can't explain. I told her what I was receiving and she turned white and almost started crying, saying, "You don't know, do you?" "Know what girly?" "........." (what she shared, that I'm holding privately for this blog). No, I didn't. Immediately I wanted to throw up. She told me that she and this artist were Facebook friends and that's how she knew. She was so shaken she needed a drink and couldn't walk to the bar to get it and I was so shaken I wanted to leave as fast as humanly possible. I also "knew" that I needed to in some way push myself past my "stranger danger" zone and tell this person I did not know what was happening. I was terrified.

I found myself making a very difficult decision. Next thing I know, they're tearing down their merchandise table and packing up and the person in question is standing next to me, taking on that table to connect with their new fans. What to do? What to do? What to do Nita? I pulled out my notepad for work and flipped it over and started writing, hand shaking. Upon finishing the same, I walked over and gave it to him, apologizing that I had to leave, and instructing him not to read it until he left the venue. I then bolted. I didn't even get to say goodbye to my friend. I sat in my car for about a half hour trying to get my energy under control enough to leave, telling the energy on the other side to let off enough to let me do what I needed to do to get home.

I went home and that energy stayed with me all weekend. We talked some (that energy and I) and I promised to leave a door open. Within 3 days, I was awoken just before 3am by that energy, to then hear my phone notifications going off. There he was, that artist, reaching back. There I was, wide awake, responding. Time would pass and exchanges would happen. I then understood. I got out of my own way, my own fears, my own self inflicted boundaries and "made the jump." I'm not sure if I would ever do so without a mutual friend (virtual or otherwise) there to build a bridge of encouragement, but I'm grateful that I did so this one time on a warm summer night in June of 2015.

Not only have I met someone that's part of the extended tribe now (thanks Thomas and David, you're both making me smile big between this one and the last one), I've discovered another rare God given talented artist that's come here to heal and change lives with their gifts. Someone who needed me in their path that night as much as I needed that exercise in trusting and letting go. The music is just a blissful bonus that's "here by design" to enjoy and make me smile.

I'm sharing this story because I want you to know what's possible. To know that your nudges and inspired thoughts are there for a reason. TRUST THEM. PLEASE. Listen to them and act upon them. Don't question the why, how or what. Just act. The Universe is doing its thing and we're just all a part of it all on this spinning place we call home (for now). I know I've said this a few dozen times over, but our inspired actions change lives. We might not get to see it, but know it's true. Just consider it a blessing when someone allows you to see a glimpse of what comes from it after the fact. We're all pulled towards people, places, things and opportunities. We just sometimes get so caught up in what "we want" that we don't listen to what "the Universe wants." I've come to think that when we do we're really just following our own intentions and manifestations, as well as being tools used in other people's intentions and manifestations.

One thing I've learned since losing Thomas is that we must trust the "pulls" in life. That when we recognize another from "beyond here" that there's work to do. God/the Universe is good, all the time. Listen. Remember that. I love you.

Monday, July 6, 2015

The Pull: I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

As of late, things have been quiet here. I've been wrapped up in the present moment of the life, of enjoying and savoring how things have unfolded as of late.

In early April my family took in a feral cat that had just had a litter of five kittens. My mom calls her Bunny given the arrival of her kittens and Easter. Early on in life my mom taught me to love animals, to care for them and to provide for them. She was an orchestrating part of making sure this cat and her last generation of wild had a fighting chance. The entire process was a lovely reminder of how unconditional love and patience can change the course of another life. When I first met momma feral she was fearful of humans. When we noticed her belly, my dad not wanting to see her suffer, brought a bag of food out to the house to feed her with. The bond began and she started to learn that I wasn't going to harm her. Before she delivered we could touch her back while she was eating. Then she disappeared for three days and upon returning to eat, she wasn't so wide and waddling. So, I made it a point to follow her after her morning meal. What's really wild is that the night before she went MIA, I had a dream of newborn kittens, as if I was connected in some way mentally to that momma cat. I did find her in the window well of another property. Then operation get those babies and her was on!

She looks thrilled doesn't she?

Her temporary housing until we knew she was in good health, when we thought the rescue would take her.

While I despise the neighbors for not doing anything to stop her generation of ferals, in the big picture I'm grateful that in the end I could give this one a home. Per my mom's request, Bunny has ended up with me once we learned the private county rescue (no kill) that my mom has donated to for over a decade couldn't take her and the kittens. Abandoned kittens, sure. A mother NURSING her kittens, not going to happen. How backwards is that crap? She's healthy (thank God for no feline diseases or major issues given her first few years were wild), a good mother, and starved for attention and affection. The months in my mom's home being cared for and loved on transformed her. Unless you're a stranger to her in my home, one would never know she was feral.

While my two felines haven't exactly accepted her since she came home to me post spay and weaning, no one is killing each other and all are settling into the transition better than expected. We even get a few nose touches here and there between them without a hiss now. Even weeks later when her last two kittens became too much for my mom to care for so they were transferred to my house with their mother. We thought they all had homes but sadly the last two weren't given time to adjust in their new adopted environment with the other cats they owned, so they're back with me. Some people have patience for it, some don't. Needless to say, my son is over the moon to have his Pearl (black female) back at his computer with him. Me, I just don't see myself with FIVE CATS to care for the next 20 years. We still have those two kittens who need homes so if you know of anyone local to Northern Virginia or the Shenandoah Valley who understands that it's a "furever" time and financial commitment, have them contact me about them.

Family portrait less Mr. Independent who was always out exploring.

Come May and a real spring around here, those reminders in unconditional love and Bunny's transformation would come full circle. Circumstances won't allow me to say all that I wish to say about the subject, but it's safe to say that I'm connecting more dots now in this area of the journey. I'd been talking to my late friend's lover about life and how we only get a few people who come along that we "feel a pull" with, how we know them the moment we meet them. Some stay, some don't. That's not the point. The point is recognizing and understanding that "pull" that says "I know you from before. I feel like I know you. I need to know you." How these people seem Heaven sent or By Design. When we follow the pull we end up finding out that they have a role to play in our growth and becoming. A few weeks after that conversation with her, I found myself in another friend's home looking down at my phone muttering an "Ohhhhhhh SHIT" while looking at notifications. Yep, that happened. What's funny is that in the chaos of her home, she remembered it from the moment I mentioned something else weeks later. An old friend and lover appeared from my past, someone I had hoped to reconnect with again one day, someone who was "a pull." I found this even more profound considering some work I'd been doing about 4-6 weeks earlier, wherein I'd asked God/The Universe/The Super Subconscious to fetch something for me, the correct spelling of his last name. It fetched all right, and way more than I bargained for at that moment in time.

Speaking of the Universe doing more than I bargained for and "pulls" in general, fast forward to June and doing something I love, working while indulging in live music and well, lets just say my life just transformed to an entirely different level. We're talking about exiting one's comfort zone level. Things I'll write and share to come. A change that I'm still navigating with the freaky deakys in my life. That's what I call all of the contact from the "other side" .....the messages, feelings, nudges, and information that comes at random whenever it wants to. Needless to say, all is as it should be with that stuff. I'm listening and I promise I'll continue to get out of its way. I hope you'll listen too regarding your own nudges, pulls and moments of inspired thought. They really are there for our greater good. Remember that. I love you.