Knowing (The Blog): March 2015

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Help (Not) Wanted

Had an interesting turn of events as of late. A lovely reminder of that which I walked away from so long ago. Ungrateful people. A situation arose in my life wherein I offered help, it was initially accepted, and then once it was successful, abruptly disregarded. All of which was on a voluntary basis and all of which was for the greater good of someone innocent and in dire need.

At first I was appalled. I was shocked and saddened to see the tides turn so quickly, to see the power trip arise from within another, the person in question being helped. All I could do was shake my head in disbelief. No matter how many ways I tried to explain the logic behind what was being accomplished, I was met with ignorance and blatant disregard. I sort of liken it to someone complaining about their health while waiting in the drive through at their favorite fast food place that they frequent. It was that ridiculously asinine. It taught me to remember that, "No Nita, you REALLY can't fix stupid!" Even when you try repeatedly to educate it and cite various resources for that knowledge.

So, I had a choice when faced with this idiotic behavior. Dig my heels in and fight those who were acting out of line, or cut them out and let them go about their lives wondering why they're wasting money on things that aren't working for them. All the while they're playing victim and complaining to anyone who will listen about the same. Indeed, you learn very quickly that other people's paths aren't your concern. Only your own. Let me repeat that, ONLY YOUR OWN.

You know in your heart and mind what's true and what's lies. You also know where your intentions lay and what you were trying to accomplish. We DO NOT control other people, even when we have the best of intentions and knowledge to share. Everyone here is just bobbing along of their own will and intents. That's where grace and acceptance come in. Having the where with all to see what's really going on and being educated enough to just let it go, recognizing that it's not your battle to fight or overcome, is absolutely priceless. People are who they are; good, bad or indifferent. Some get drunk on the attention they can get from being of use to another. Others enjoy making a difference without a stitch of notoriety for their good deeds. One in all honesty isn't any better than the other. They're just different.

In the end, our differences are what make us so wonderful. We learn so much through contrast, experiencing that which we don't want to be, endure or believe in. I believe in the goodness within all of us and I've seen some amazing people do some beautiful things this past month. In the end, I learned that no matter how much you try and help those you have an investment in, that they first have to be willing to help themselves. Without doing so, they never learn; and that's okay. Not everyone in life is going to be open or ready for the next chapter of their lives. Nonetheless, that doesn't mean however that you stop writing your own. Remember that. I love you.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

The Becoming - 40 Years In The Making

The last couple of months I've been wading into the new normal. See, when you put forth a positive intention for your life, the Universe meets you where you are and prunes away EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that's not in alignment with that intent. To some people it's as if you shook a soda bottle up and cracked it open. Pressure builds and then explodes all over the place, in whatever direction has the least resistance. Then, there are those who get stuck on the letting go of that which is being pruned away. Believe me, stuck equals sucks. No way to sugar coat it, it's a waste of time and energy. Being focused on what was or who someone once portrayed themselves to be in order to use or manipulate you is a joke. It won't change what is in the here and now. It's not going to all of a sudden make them a better person. It's about self preservation, about letting go of people who just aren't capable of being in alignment with where you're going in life.

It really IS okay. I often remind friends that we can't pick good fruit if we're weighted down with bad fruit. Just no room or energy to procure the new. Such is life. In work. In play. In love. In friendships. No one is in your life experience living it except for you. This is your play, your orchestration. You get to decide how it's all going to roll itself out. Even when things, people and circumstances challenge you, we still get to decide how we greet them. Do we focus and carry on or do we stop and turn back? Only one direction gets you closer to your best self and your highest self.

Now, does that mean we won't take the same damn road a few times on this journey? Ohhhh, hell no. Some of us are far more stubborn about life. We like to make sure we're doing the wrong thing multiple times before we learn it. No, I'm not joking. I'm being serious. Even so, it's all part of the path. Eventually we crack and we relent and we find a better way. Then, it's not about how long it took, but who we became in the process.

In January I entered into my 40th year here. Growing up, I had so many ideas about where I thought I'd be and who I'd be come this milestone. Some happend, most didn't. What did happen though is that I realized that I'm right on time and that if I trust and listen a little bit longer, that all the pieces of the puzzle will continue to unite together into one kick ass magnificent work of art that IS MY LIFE. MY LIFE. In all of it's hard times, crazy times, fun times, sad times, and peaceful times.

It's long been said that regret is more painful than just about any other part of life, less grief and loss. I have a few, most of all that dark day of giving up and going against every fiber of my being 13 years ago. Here's the thing though, I work each day to be at peace with what is. None of us can change the past. Now, more than ever, at 40, I get it. I understand that I wouldn't be who I am today had I not lost myself along the way.

Know this, nothing is stagnate unless you allow it to be. One call, one choice, one reach can change your entire path's momentum. Listen to yourself and trust what you're learning. The answers are all right there, just waiting for you to pay attention to them. Remember that, I love you.