Hope: Even When It's Painful

I read this week that someone out there (God Wants You To Know App on Facebook) decided that our pains are God's way to rouse you from slumber.  Seriously, no wonder so many of us want to sleep in!  This from a Facebook App..."Pain is your wake-up call to awaken, to look deeper into yourself, to adjust the course of your life. God tries to be as gentle as possible, and only if you ignore the call does the pain get stronger."  Gulp, okay, I'll admit it, this reminds me of MY story to others about the universe throwing pebbles at you, then river stones, then if you don't heed those warnings maybe a brick or a boulder will do.  Same point, I get it.  Nonetheless, my flesh cringed reading the words from the application's post.  Sometimes the truth will do that to you.  At the flesh cringing point at least I was able to realize that this reaction is one of those Lao Tzu moments, when I have to trust in the goodness of the words and the thinking behind them and that their author meant them with nothing but love I'm sure of it. 

Seems as of late many people I care for are having life pain.  Whether it's physical, psychological, environmental, or circumstantial, it all hurts and it all wears them and those that love them seriously thin.  Even in my own life I've had to remind myself of breathing, being present, being grateful, etc.  I have to remind myself to find peace and hope that we all know thus far that the pain is temporary and that it does have an end, even if that end means saying goodbye to someone you love because they've passed on.  I watch from near and afar those I care for suffer.  I watch how they cope, how they reach out to others for love and support, how they pull inward and push others away.  I watch and I try very hard to be present because face it, pain is the one thing on the earth that we all want to avoid.  By watching I'm learning what to do and not to do when dealing with my own pain.  Anything to reduce the learning curve I'm all over.  Again, my gut reaction is to run far, far away from pain.

Alas, thankfully, life does goes on.  Yes, as much as it can be painful, it too can be joyful.  It is what it is.  We all have the same 24 hours in any given day here.  At least if we pay attention and try to learn from it, pain is temporary.  Sooner or later we get past it and something else in life comes along to focus on.  There's an ebb and flow to the good times and the bad if you go with the flow.  There's also of course the appreciation of being grateful and hopeful in both good times and bad.  If we fail to take the lesson, to embrace the pain (whatever it is) we surely are doing nothing more than quitting on ourselves by taking the easy (read: avoidance) way out.  How do I know this? I've lived it.  I was only able to get a grip and embrace and learn the lessons from each pain once I learned to have unconditional love for myself.

One of my all time favorite writings about unconditional love comes from Hemal Radia.  He says that, "Unconditional love - it is always about your relationship with yourself. When you release conditions for others to have to be a certain way, you are also releasing conditions for you to allow yourself to feel a certain way (It's about you, not others. They're the moving targets. It's always about You)."  Radia's words are point on.  Again, someone else passing along the universal knowledge of the journey. Thank you.

Once I got that life lesson I was better able to have hope and experience it in my life.  I'm of partial Italian decent and there's an Italian Proverb that says "Hope is the last thing ever lost."  I heard that a lot growing up.  Yes, good, good hope, that thing that makes life worth living in dark times, that thing of anticipation and excitement.  The belief that no matter what, somewhere, somehow, something is going to come to pass that is for our betterment.  After all, they say that "Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible." - Annonymous 

Even one of my favorite teachers and authors, Norman Vincent Peale stressed in his writings and speaking the practice of hopefulness.  He said we should make it a habit and that by doing so we achieve permanent happiness in spirit.  So, I remind you (as I remind myself) to create the habit of hope in your life, even when life is painful.  Choose hope.  Choose happiness.

Copyright ©2010 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.
For personal use only. Commercial use without permission is not allowed. 

Persistence & Passion: Never Give Up

I believe that we all have at some point or another have experienced such adversity that we have to question exactly what it is we're persisting for.  You know, those times when you just want to say screw it (all thought not so nicely in those words), when you've had enough, when the odds appear to just not be going in your favor, when you're ready to crack.  Yeah, those times.  I mean you literally do stand this line and look at both sides and MAKE A CHOICE to persist.  Why? What are the driving forces behind it?

www.Dictionary.com (one of my all time favorite websites....I'm not the best speller and I need help with grammar too)  Persistence:  continued existence or occurrence.  Persisting:  to continue steadfastly or firmly in some state, purpose, course of action, or the like, especially in spite of opposition, to last or endure tenaciously, to be insistent in a statement, request, question, etc.

Tenacious, oh how I love that word.  Looking back at life I've yet to have a tenacious moment that didn't pay off big.  What about you?  Take stock of your accomplishments and transcendence moments in life.  What moments did you act tenaciously?

 

Yes, there are even those of us out there who've had it worse than others and struggle to persist at every never ending blow that life gives them.  You know, the ones with the 'black clouds' following them around, always beating life's storms.  They are the true champions.  No doubt, we all have to choose to fight.  It's a choice to decide to dig deep.  When we do, we gather and we shine.  

To persist is a choice, just as it's a choice to live a life full of your gifts and passions.  Persistence takes courage to execute.  It's a sure self esteem builder too.  Looking at the roll acceptance plays in the journey, it's pretty clear to understand that in order to persist you have to first accept whatever it is that's going on and become present.  I may sound redundant with the in depth analysis of acceptance, becoming present and choosing gratitude but the longer I practice this little mantra, the more I see it as a useful strategy in every area of my life.  It astounds me that I just didn't 'get this' sooner.

Why am I so astounded that I'm telling everyone who will hear me out this a, b, c stuff?  For years I've understood that it's not what we have, who we are in life, where we live or what we're doing that brings joy.  I long ago got the perspective is key and attitude is everything lesson.  This is probably why Dale Carnegie's words ring true with me so much.  He says,“It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about." Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner! Just another example of universal knowledge being shared.  I call that universal affirmation. :) 

 

"Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

 

If we didn't have the adversity to transcend then we'd never get the message of the lesson.  If we don't persist and give up, we just quit learning.  Boring.  Game over.  Really, is that how you want to choose to live the last years of your life?  For me time passes quickly when I'm jumping life's hurdles.  Do I welcome them with zest and cheer? Uh, no. Do I fight against them as long as I used to in the past.  Definitely not.  So, at least I'm practicing what I'm so astonished over. 

 

Does it mean I don't feel lost at times?  No.  I was thinking about this recently given the changes in my own personal life as of late.  I know what I'm passionate about.  I know what I persist for.  Do you?  I'd actually gotten to the point where I'm learning to accept feeling lost.  Then the universe opened up with an affirmation.  How was my friend to know what I needed to hear just as how I'm supposed to know what she most needed to hear when I share such things?  Exactly, the universe at play.  No other way around it. :)  Here's the affirmation of my acceptance on feeling lost and questioning persistence. 

 

"It is good to feel lost because it proves you have a navigational sense of where "Home" is. You know that a place that feels like "being found" exists. And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it." 

- Online Somewhere 

(Thanks for posting Kel! Seriously, I can't say it enough, good stuff!)

Coincidences, love them or hate them, they get your attention. 

When I choose to persist I have to let go of the ego, of the past, of daydreaming the future.  I have to choose to be of good mind and in the moment at hand.  This focus on the moment at hand is what allows me to execute that which I set out to do.  No matter what, life is forever changing.  My choice to grow through those changes is an option.  I must be willing to learn to grow. 

  

So, as for those coincidences that occur when I persist, I'm just grateful for them.  Einstein believed they were/are Gods way of being anonymous. I often see them as affirmations that I'm on the right path and with the right people. Others think they're a mystery not to be solved, a puzzle to admire and keep at a distance.  Many more believe that they're lessons to be learned, things for us to take notice of.  No matter what, they're amusing and the make the journey more enjoyable so I'll keep being grateful for them.

Copyright ©2010 Nita Clewis All rights reserved.
For personal use only. Commercial use without permission is not allowed.